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I hope you're as happy as you're pretending
You know, I remember the days when I used to really like computers. As in, I'd like them for the sake of them being computers. Those days are gone now, and I'm not sure if I'm at all sorry about that, but I just want to dwell on it for a minute. I think about what I use the computer for now, and it's pretty simple - I use it for listening to music, reading the news, talking to friends, doing uni work, and writing. None of those activities specifically requires a computer, and I could probably liv without one quite easily now. Just give me a stereo, a newspaper, a pen and writing paper, and a chance to see my friends, and I'd be fine.

I've stopped playing computer games, in fact, I stopped quite a while ago (with the exception of GTA3 on the PS2, of course). The second-to-last game I played properly was Half Life, which was a good few years ago now. I just found the plot really compelling, and there was something about the atmosphere in it... It built up this world that was really quite rich, and after playing both addon packs for it as well, I got a really good feeling for what it would be like to be in the game, if you will... I can sort of feel myself in the Black Mesa compound, I know every inch of every stage of the game, and it's all kinda cool... It's very engrossing..

That would be about three years ago or something I guess... Then the last game I actively played was Max Payne. And that was partly out of my interest as a writer - it has one of the best written scripts to any game I've ever played - in fact, it beats most movies out there. It was a very Film Noir style dialog, and the imagery it all conjoured up was fantastic... I have a note book type thing where I write down special things, and a page of that is devoted to some of the most beautiful words I've ever heard from a computer game... And then there's the scary bits
I don't want to go there. It's the last place I'd want to end up, but that's where I always end up anyway. Only, it's not me talking to the pink flamingo, but someone who looks the part down to the finest detail, except that he's evil. I'm hiding in the shadows, watching it all unfold. The flamingo speaks. He can speak here. It says...
"Mirrors are more fun than television."
That's 'Mirrors are more fun than television'. Somehow I know this, just don't ask me how. And I - not me, my double - nods and smirks at this, as if it was the funniest thing in the world. And then something goes wrong, and they both know I'm there, hiding behind them, and they turn to look at me with cold eyes. And the flamingo speaks again
"The flesh of fallen angels."
I have no idea what that means. *scream* And that's when I always wake up to myself screaming, in a brightly lit, white hospital room, strapped to my bed.
Woo, go random scary shit :o)

But yeah, ultimately, what I want out of a computer game is more like an interactive movie experience, with some nice action sequences, a well written story with nice dialog, and preferably something that will encourage me to go back and play it more. And that's probably why I don't play computer games any more - they don't make games like that very often at all...

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(Deleted comment)
yeah but neither do I, and I still feel compelled to fuck about on these things all the time.

Yeah... It's really weird, I've kinda just stopped seeing the appeal of computers...

I guess that's what a CompSci degree does to you ;o)

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