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99% of the time people dont have a clue what's in your head
Self perception can be a tricky business... When the people who go on Big Brother talk about how they're doing it because they want to learn more about themselves, what they really mean is that they want to be able to see how they come across - understand themselves as others see them. And short of flinging yourself into reality TV, it's not an easy thing to do.

There's a few clues to how people see me... At Reading, Stu seemed to think I wanted to be the centre of attention - is that how I come across? And generally, people seem to generally treat me differently to how I would imagine they would, which means that my perception of how I am must be a little off base...

I think most of my self-image comes from how I saw myself up until the age of about seventeen... I was dramatically different, and I'm glad that I didn't have a journal back then, since I would probably read it and cringe - I can't even look back two years without wondering how I ever got by like I used to be.

So, for an exercise, here's more or less how I'd introduce myself four years ago:
My name is James, and I'm 16 going on 25. I'm really shy, and can't really talk to strangers. Everybody sees me as a total geek, but I try not to care because I have a couple of good friends. I don't really go out, because there's nowhere around here to go, and I don't drink because I'm morally opposed to the idea of altering my state of consciousness with chemicals. I've never kissed a girl, or really had a proper girlfriend.
Yes, that's really what I was like. And I still see myself like that, more or less. I walk around convinced that everybody sees me as a total loner geek, even though I've a suspicion that they might not. I'm still one of the most shy people I know, despite significant evidence to the contrary...

I dunno, maybe I'm not like that any more... Maybe I really have stopped being a shy loser geek. Or maybe I've just convinced myself of that in order to feel better about myself....

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you aren't a shy loser geek. because i rule, and so why would i be friends with a shy loser geek? logic, boy. :P

Yeah, but you obviously see me differently to most people anyway - otherwise why does nobody else sleep with me? :oP

because i have supposedly fucked up views about sex :P and because they do dumbass, i.e. mel? (which is lem backwards)

my god stu really did stick a spanner in the works didn't he? :P

Not in the way he was worried he had, I think.... I had never even realised that I try to be the centre of attention. But now that I think about it, I guess maybe I do sometimes.... It just hasn't ever really been pointed out to me like that.

I see it as a good thing - I don't want to be shy and stuff. I just hadn't realised that I'd stopped :o)

First impression on meeting you at gig: Confident, nice guy, friendly
2nd impression while wandering around Brighton: Same as above
Impression given by internet: ego, but still cool
Current opinion: nice guy, friendly, hides low self esteem with fake ego

Jamie = Not a shy loser geek


U are l33t psycosomatis0r.

Whoa dude. That reads like me a year ago. Seriously. And parts of it are still true. Everything thing there, the girls, the kissing, the loner geek (bar the drinking thing - which is ironically true now) was true about me at 16. And the center of attention thing? I've got that too I think.


But yeh, that's really weird, we seem to have been very alike at one point.

I changed lots. We can only hope you do the same, eh? ;o)

Hey hey hey hey hey whoa whoa whoa...

I like who I am...if I didn't I would have changed already. Besides it's not very emo to be a playa is it?

speaking as some one who has only just met u
u are a complete loser geek (mwa ha ha ha)
i hate you so much "i wish i was you just so i could kill myself"

your a meany who picks on girls
and gives them the lurgy


You loved it, so shut up ;oP

i love it like i love the lurgy

*kicks shin*

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