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Fucked Up Life

Hmm, lemme just quickly go make this a Friends Only post.

OK, done. Right, the state of play is this. Alex fancies me. Harry fancies me. These facts are already known. Harry and I are involved, but not in a serious way - we're still just friends. We know all this stuff, right?

Wrong! Got a call from Alex earlier. She admitted she fancied me, and pretty much asked me out. Cool, I thought, Harry and I aren't serious, I can do that. So I go to explain it to Harry thusly:

Jim "Hold on to whatever you need" says:
In that we're not going out, and that you approve of her and stuff, you'd not be too pissed if I got together with Alex, would you? Or would you?

Harriet says:
James. I wanted to ask you out tonight. I miss you so much. I've been thinking about you so much. I knew something like this would happen.

Shit. Shit shit shit shit shit. I left things with Alex by pretty much saying that I had a lot of thinking to do. And that was before I knew that Harry genuinely wants us to be together properly. Now? Well, I don't have a clue. I mean shit, I'm not used to such situations - I never get more than one girl liking me at once, and suddenly I get two, best friends, who both like me, and both announce how strongly they like me on the same night. I have a LOT of thinking to do - don't expect me to be around much in the next little while. Think. Think. Think.

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Three options available.

1. Be with Harry.
2. Be with Alex.
3. Be with neither.

Option 3 is sound morraly - it will save BOTH frienships, where as if you choose option 1 or 2, chances are you'll loose two friends and gain a girlfriend. And, I hate to be weird, but I value friends more then girlfriends. Plus, if you choose one over the other, chances are the other girl will hate the first girl, they'll fall out, and someone will be pushed out the group.

I'm with Scott - it's best to stay friends with both of them, rather than losing one friend, or even bad, both.

A big 'ditto' from me here - life would me MUCH easier to not choose either one.

Why does nobody get this?? :o)

Look, I live with these people, I go out drinking with these people regularly. If I decided I'd have neither of them, it simply wouldn't work. I'm attracted to both, good friends with both, and the same applies roles reversed. It'd only take a bit of alcohol to make me forget any good reason why I'd decide neither, and I'd immediately get into a REALLY bad situation - at least this way, the person who's left out knows it. How much worse would it be if I told them both that I was choosing neither, and then subsequently did choose one of them in a drunken state? The other one would kill me... This way just seems the best (although swapping girlfriends is always crappy, I hate it)...

Re: Why does nobody get this?? :o)



Yeah, you're absolutely right, okay.

Is there any way that either girl presents herself as being the more obvious choice?(i'm guessing the answer is 'no')

Re: Why does nobody get this?? :o)

Well Alex, since I guess I prefer her. So that's who I chose in the end. But the problem is, now Harry is pissed off. And really, part of me says she shouldn't be. It was her that was responsible for keeping our relationship casual, and she told me she'd be fine with me and Alex getting together, and a load of other stuff which basically pointed away from her being pissed off. Then it all happens, she suddenly decides she doesn't want to lose me, and it all goes tits up. *sigh*

Re: Why does nobody get this?? :o)

Typical female behavior, alas. :-] Sounds like you definitely chose the right one.

Re: Why does nobody get this?? :o)

Bloody females.... But of course, if I turn gay now, Alex will hate me too. I can't win :o)

Re: Why does nobody get this?? :o)

Well yeah, and then you'd have to figure out which bloke to choose. 8-)

Re: Why does nobody get this?? :o)

Go for threesome? ;)

If I might venture an opinion...

Dear James,

First off, permit me to introduce myself. I'm you, from the future. You know this, because you have often wondered about writing letters to yourself in the past, because it saves a lot of bother. Further proof can be given if required.

Herein lies the problem - you are a lunatic. To be fair, you still are, but this is irrelevant - you are basing your decision on erroneous information. You appear to have forgotten that you have no physical attraction to Alex, and that you never had. Such forgetful behaviour is unlikely to yield results from your life - it'll just make you screw up. Recall if you will that, while I'm sure her voice sounds nice on the phone, you do not fancy her.

Now, I know what you're thinking - you're thinking "Goodness, you're right, I should stick with Harry". You are wrong. Have you forgotten that she annoyed you intensely from the moment you met her, right up until you got together with her? Trust me, she is not the right choice for you, and once you're not together, she'll annoy you again, and you'll remember that you made a mistake ever getting with her. I can appreciate that you were feeling alone and horny or something, but please, messing up your life by dating girls like that is not the way to go.

Anyway, assuming that my whole theory that history carries on regardless the same way despite changing it is correct, your New Years experience will be good. Both you and James will pull girls, and have a great time that puts all your other New Year's Eve experiences to shame (especially the last one - what on earth was that all about?). Enjoy it.

Don't worry about being single and alone - in just a couple of months you'll get together with Jen (LJ user "Orangespice") - remember her? Thought you might :o) You will love this girl more than you ever loved anybody in your life, and she'll change how you are in ways you never thought possible. You'll spend the month of July with her, and you'll have never been as happy as you will be with her. Trust me on this. This girl will teach you exactly what it is to love somebody with all your heart, and then some. This will be the most positive experience of your life, and it's not far off. Have fun, I know I did :o)

I often wonder about writing to the me in the past. If only I could do it before I mess things up, eh.....


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