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Okay, so, I can't sleep. At all. This is ridiculous - I slept from midnight to 1am, then woke up and stayed that way. Came down, went online a bit, then tried sleeping in front of the tumble drier. For those who missed every other time I explained this, ever since when I was a baby, whirring type sounds have always sent me to sleep. And warm air, too. Basically, a hair drier is perfect if I want to sleep - the warm air and noise just make me so instantly tired. The massive heaters in the factory at work have a similar effect, which is why it's good that I'm in the offices for the time being, because there's less chance of me falling asleep ;o)

Anyway, my attempt at sleep was shattered by my father having a lapse in memory, forgetting that I am in fact twenty years old, and scaring the shit out of me by making me jump, telling me to go to bed. I hurled various swear words at him (mostly for the fact that I was on the verge of sleep, and after the adrenaline of being made jump like that I couldn't get back off), and he went away, probably not best pleased at me. But come on - I'm a grown up now, if I want to sleep on the floor in the kitchen, I should be allowed. That "not while you're living under my roof" thing might be okay for hard drugs and prostitutes, but I don't think it applies to my choice of sleeping location provided I'm not inconveniencing anybody.....

Well, so I went back to bed, and utterly failed to sleep, so I've given up, and I'm gonna write crap on my journal for a bit instead :o) Following suit with everybody else, I shall now compile.....

The Soundtrack to My Life

-01- Captain Sensible - Happy Talk
-02- OMD - Seven Seas
-03- Erasure - Love to Hate You
-04- The Darts - Duke of Earl
-05- Chesney Hawkes - The One and Only
-06- Duran Duran - Ordinary World
-07- The Scorpions - Wind of Change
-08- Let Loose - Crazy For You
-09- Goo Goo Dolls - Dizzy
-10- Sugar Ray - Every Morning
-11- Everclear - Fire Maple Song
-12- Travis - More Than Us
-13- K Ci and Jojo - All My Life
-14- Lightning Seeds - Pure
-15- Colorfinger - Eleanor Young
-16- Live - They Stood up for Love
-17- Everclear - Summerland
-18- Daft Punk - One More Time
-19- Blink 182 - Adam's Song

-01- Lifehouse - Hanging by a Moment
-02- Tonic - If You Could Only See
-03- The Ataris - Giving up on Love
-04- Uncle Kracker - Follow Me
-05- Lifehouse - Everything
-06- Dave Matthews Band - The Space Between
-07- The Offspring - Denial, Revisited
-08- Sugar Ray - Waiting
-09- Sum 41- Handle This
-10- Dashboard Confessional - Age Six Racer
-11- Eve 6 - Here's to the Night
-12- The Ataris - As We Speak
-13- Lit - My Own Worst Enemy
-14- Live - Hero of Love
-15- Ewan McGregor - My Song
-16- Saves the Day - Sell My Old Clothes, I'm Off to Heaven
-17- Tool - The Patient
-18- Mansun - Legacy
-19- The Ataris - Looking Back on Today

Yes, I have a double CD soundtrack, which is likely to cost £16.99 in most stores. CD1 is specifically songs from when I was a toddler until about a year ago, CD2 is the soundtrack to the last year of my life. And since I'm still not tired yet...

Captain Sensible - Happy Talk - I used to listen to this when I was a baby, it was my favourite song. We've got a video somewhere that shows me singing it as a toddler - I didn't really know the words, but that was okay because I tried, and looked very sweet doing it (in my opinion).

OMD - Seven Seas - This was, I believe, the first song I listened to on the radio properly. I used to have this old radio, and a tape recorder with a microphone, and I used to hold the microphone to the radio to record songs off it. Eventually though, the microphone broke - I think it was because I was demonstrating that the mic could also act as a speaker if you put it into the right socket, and that kinda killed it... :o\

Erasure - Love to Hate You - Erasure's album Chrorus was the first album I ever owned. I got it for my tenth (ish) birthday, along with a two-deck tape player, with radio and built in microphone. I've still got it upstairs, although it doesn't really work. I listened to the whole album tons, especially "Am I Right", but ultimately, I have to include this song on the soundtrack because it was the one that got me into Erasure.

The Darts - Duke of Earl - We had a tape of The Darts (for anybody who doesn't know who they are (i.e., almost all of you), I recommend you download their stuff, it's great) which I used to listen to in my mum's car when she'd drive me to Jesus Christ Superstar (which I was in). I must have been about nine or ten at the time, and I loved this song so much - I insisted on listening to the tape on the way to every single rehearsal.

Chesney Hawkes - The One and Only - What kid didn't love this song when it came out? It spent five weeks at number one before that bitch Cher usurped it with that God-awful cover whose name I won't even utter. Still, it was such a wicked song. I can play it on guitar, you know - demonstrations by request :o)

Duran Duran - Ordinary World - In short, my favourite song ever. When I was about 14 or so, I was going through a bit of weird angst. I honestly can't think of why, but I was thinking of suicide. I just found this song really uplifting, in a "don't give up" type way - the whole thing just kinda reassures the listener that there's no point dwelling on the past, because someday it'll all be okay. Or at least, that's how I interpreted it then, and that's all that counts.

The Scorpions - Wind of Change - No real story behind this song, I just absolutely loved it. Recently learned the guitar solo for it, just so that I can play it properly, because I still love it. If there was a proper background to why I like it, I've forgotten it...

Let Loose - Crazy For You - Yay, pop at its best. Me and my brother absolutely loved this song... Again, no real story, just a song that I really liked.

Goo Goo Dolls - Dizzy - I first heard this song in America - it was on MTV (or, more likely, VH1) in the mornings when I was out there, when I'd just sit around watching cable for a couple of hours. I thought the Goo Goo Dolls were utterly fantastic. In theory, the song I listened to the most was Slide, but the story goes thus: I heard Slide, and bought the single. Then I heard Dizzy, and decided to buy the album. And as a result of buying the album, I bought a load more albums by the Goo Goo Dolls, and thus began a phase of being into some rather good music.

Sugar Ray - Every Morning - Again, this was another song that was on when I was out in New York with my family. I loved the video for this, as well as the song, so I bought Sugar Ray's album. In fact, Sugar Ray are pretty much the earliest band that I heard out of all those I listen to a lot now. I just totally fell in love with the video, and subsequently the album (not to mention Mark McGrath ;o)

Everclear - Fire Maple Song - The first Everclear song I ever really liked (well, it was practically the first one I ever heard). Thus started probably my biggest musical obsession - after hearing this, ultimately, I got to the point where I owned every single Everclear album (although I'm still desperately looking for a copy of Deep in the Heart of the Beast in the Sun by Colorfinger, in order to feel my collection is complete). At this point, I should also mention Lakini's Juice by Live - I got that at about the same time, and that in turn started off my love of Live as well. I'd add it to my list, but I can't be arsed to re-number them all ;o) The point is, this is really the turning point in my music taste...

Travis - More Than Us - This was "our song", the 'our' in that being myself and Karen, my first ever girlfriend. She lived in Ireland, and I visited her for a week in the summer of 1999, and had a wonderful time. First time I'd ever been in love. Had I been slightly less blindly in love, I might have questioned why our song had the line "everybody calls it love but I'm not really sure if it's love at all", but there we go... :o) Again, at this point I should mention the other song from this point in time - SemiSonic - Singing in my Sleep. I got the Secret Smile single which had that as a b-side a couple of weeks before I went to Ireland, and listened to that song every night until I went. And again, I can't be bothered to add this and re-number my list again, I've already done it so many times...

K Ci and Jojo - All My Life - This was my lucky song. Before every GCSE and a-level exam, the last song I listened to was this. Hence why I got three a-stars, four a's, two b's and a c in my GCSEs, and AAAB in my a-levels, plus a Grade 1 in Cambridge's special maths paper. I genuinely credit the luck I got from this song :o)

Lightning Seeds - Pure - This was the song I listened to a lot when I broke up with Karen, and when Bri broke up with Kara. We kinda helped each other through that whole period in our lives, and this was just the most listened to song on my playlist at the time. I'd just bought the Lightning Seeds' Greatest Hits album before Bri's relationship broke up, and I spent the next week being online pretty much 24/7, talking him through it, and listening to this song.

Colorfinger - Eleanor Young - The first song I properly learned to play on my guitar. Bri sent me this song (which in turn got me into Colorfinger properly), and I spent hours working out how to play it. I still have a two-year-old guitar tab I printed out and put up on the wall behind the computer - it's still there. In the same category as this song is Turn My Head by Live, I learned the lead for the intro and verse for that after many hours of practicing. It took me so long to work out, but I can now play it behind my head and four times the speed, perfectly, so there we go, that's achievement for you :o)

Live - They Stood up for Love - Still my favourite song by Live ever, it's just amazing. So romantic, and it was one of the best moments of my life when I saw them play this live in concert. I was on my feet, jumping around, screaming the words at the top of my lungs. Which is noteworthy, since I was in the seated section of Brixton Academy at the time, rather than the stalls.... Still, I was having a great time, so I didn't care about the looks I got from people.

Everclear - Summerland - My overriding memory of this song was from when I was visiting my mother in hospital when she had Pancreatitis... We had this on in the car on the way there, and I was so worried about her. Then I listened to it tons more a couple of years later when she had cancer. It's just one of those songs that kinda helped me through the first time she was properly ill, so I listened to it the second time too, in case it would help...

Daft Punk - One More Time - I used to really enjoy going out clubbing (dance clubs, rather than metal ones, back then) just because I could dance to this song. I remember being in a big group with Jimbo, Lollo, Vicky, Claire, etc., and us all just dancing so much, this song being the one we liked the most. Jimbo and I even had a special dance for it, as I recall (by which I mean he had a special dance for it, and because I was so lame at dancing, I found it easier to just copy him).

Blink 182 - Adam's Song - This was the song that accompanied Christmas 2000, when I dumped Harry for Alex on Christmas Eve, and then broke up with her on New Years Eve. The actual story is rather tame, and doesn't need repeating. The point is, I listened to this song loads back then, and thought it was really quite a fantastic song - great guitars, great vocals, great lyrics, great drums. It was uncharacteristically good for Blink, I thought...

Lifehouse - Hanging by a Moment - Mine and Jen's song, simple. When I told her I was in love with her, she quoted the lyrics to this song, and said that it represented how she felt. It was then "our song" for the duration of our relationship, and still is. I still think of us a bit every time I hear it, as does she...

Tonic - If You Could Only See - Another me and Jen song, this was the song I mostly comforted myself with when she was cheating on me, and after I forgave her for it. "If you could see the way she loves me, maybe you would understand". You know, just kidding myself with the lyrics, as you do in such situations...

The Ataris - Giving up on Love - I'd heard a bit of stuff by the Ataris before I went out to America, and then when I got there I bought End is Forever and Blue Skies... from the record shop between K-Mart and Giant. Anyhow, I took my CD player with me to the US, and for the first half of my time there, I listened to End Is Forever every single night in bed. Actually, thinking about it, I listened to it every night for the entire time, except the nights when I shared a bed (or, rather, couch) with Jen. The first track on the CD is, obviously, Giving Up On Love, so that was a track I always heard before falling asleep every night.

Uncle Kracker - Follow Me - In America, I listened to this tons in the car with Jen. I remember, Scott hated this song, so we used to play it at him whenever we could. It really interested me, just because the rhythm of the opening verse is hard to get when you initially listen to the song, so I spent ages trying to work out how it went. I know now ;o)

Lifehouse - Everything - This was mine and Jen's second song, really. It's the most moving song on the album - there's four minutes of quiet, emotional singing, and then two minutes of harder singing. The overall effect is actually really good, and it sounds so beautiful and moving. When I saw this song performed live, I wept buckets, it moved me so much... Anyhow, the main memory I have of this song is after I bought the album for Jen, we were listening to it when we were going to State College, PA, and this song came on when we were driving down this one road - it was like this pretty little suburban area, it was really nice... That memory just stuck, I guess...

Dave Matthews Band - The Space Between - I managed to listen to tons of DMB when I was over in the US, not sure quite why since it didn't entirely appeal to me, but still, I did really like this song. Uh, that's all the story behind that one... :o)

The Offspring - Denial, Revisited - When Jen and I broke up (for the second and third times) during September, I listened to this song a lot. Especially the bit towards the end, just because I love it so much - it's really heartfelt, and just generally great. I actually really liked Conspiracy of One, despite what other people think of it, and this was my favourite track on it easily...

Sugar Ray - Waiting - Two and a half years after I bought my first Sugar Ray CD, I got their new (self titled) release, and this was my favourite song on it. It rekindled my liking of the band, since I'd kinda let them slip out of my playlist - the whole album was just cool.

Sum 41- Handle This - My favourite song off Sum 41's album, and when it was played live, it rocked. The band got a load of hot girls on stage to play Twister, for no apparent reason, and then at the end a couple of the girls kissed. The effect that whole thing had on the crowd was great - it actually promoted this really fun atmosphere in the whole place, and the song itself rocked. Especially the end, where they have three vocal parts over the top of each other - that's why I actually like a lot of Sum 41 stuff, because they're really good in terms of overlapping vocals and harmonies.

Dashboard Confessional - Age Six Racer - Towards when I went back to America to see Jen for a second time, this was one of our favourite songs - the lyrics "So long sweet summer" just seemed to sum up the whole experience for us, and stuff. Although for me, it quickly stopped being an "us" song, and just became a song I really liked (along with a few other Dashboard songs), and it's one of the songs where I can play a lead part while singing (as opposed to rhythm, which I can do quite easily).

Eve 6 - Here's to the Night - I heard this song when I was out with Jen one night driving around Pennsylvania, and the lyrics just stuck with me. It really described the whole relationship, and the fact that it was coming to and end (by the time I arrived in America for my second visit, we both knew it was over). The words were so meaningful at the time - "here's to the nights we felt alive, here's the to tears you knew you'd cry, here's to goodbye, tomorrow's gonna come too soon".

The Ataris - As We Speak - I sang this song to myself a bit when I was homeless in Penn Station, Manhattan, because I simply had nothing better to do. I also wrote it down in my written journal, I just wrote out all the lyrics, because being homeless is one of the most boring things you can ever do. It also kinda applied to my relationship situation - "it's nice to meet someone with a future as fucked up as mine".

Lit - My Own Worst Enemy - I heard this song the first time I was in America, and loved it, but couldn't remember what it was or who it was by when I got home. I just walked around humming it for three months. Then the second time I went out there, I heard it on the radio, and finally found out what it was. I remember one time, Jen, Kait and I were coming back from the grocery store, driving down the highway, singing along really loudly to this song.1

Live - Hero of Love - For no other reason than it made me really get into Live again, although it took quite some getting used to. It took ages for this song to grow on me, but when it finally did, it was excellent. I don't know where my copy of Live's "V" album is, so I can't hear it right now, but I rather wish I could... :o)

Ewan McGregor - My Song - Oh boy can that man sing... I hated Moulin Rouge for so long (complicated story), but eventually I liked it, and as soon as I did, I loved it completely. No other movie / song / anything has come anywhere near to describing what it feels like to be in love, but when I saw this movie I suddenly thought "hey, this is familiar"... If personification is the act of turning a concept into a person, then movification is the act of turning a concept into a movie. In which case, Moulin Rouge is the movification of love, simple as that.

Saves the Day - Sell My Old Clothes, I'm Off to Heaven - Simple one, this is mine and Mel's song. The way I told her I wanted to be with her was by quoting the lyrics to this song - "If I could only see you now, for about an hour, maybe just a minute, just to ask, what he's got that I don't have?". Four months on, and I can still remember that night perfectly, listening to that song as I wrote the message...

Tool - The Patient - This is music taken to an artform. I dunno how Tool do it, but it's amazing, they really make the most phenomenal experiences and put them out in song form. Hard to describe what it is about this that I like so much, although the buildup at the end is just great. 'nuff said :o)

Mansun - Legacy - I used to love this song when it first came out, then seemingly forgot all about it for years... Eventually, Mel reminded me of the song, and I remembered how much I actually used to love it. Seeing it live in Brighton was totally fantastic, I could just imagine the younger 'me' who listened to it going nuts hearing that :o)

The Ataris - Looking Back on Today - This is my reflective, 'thinking about things' song. Hence why it comes at the end. It's so beautiful, I can't begin to describe what listening to it does to me. I love it, and it's the perfect ending to a rather long soundtrack :o)

Anyway, that took a long time, didn't it.... If you chose not to read it, I don't blame you - it's overly-laboured and probably pointless. But I kinda like to think that my choice of music kinda describes me in a way. Anyhow, if people don't mind, I'm going to see if I can grab half an hour of sleep, before I have to be up for work......

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heh I read the reasons behind the songs I knew/liked.

and yeh I think that's true with everyone...that their music taste describes them as a person.

i might just hafta steal this idear from you....hehe...tho i did just recently make a list of bands that really do something for me and great minds think alike.. :P

Be glad DMB doesn't play ALL the time on the radios over there, god I hate him and his music SOOO much... Senior year in High School, I was subjected to it cause my friend loved DMB and had to play it EVERY MORNING, the WHOLE CD... -_-

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