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"LMAO - The Sequel" (a David and James Wind-Up)
See this for background. I play an idiot scarily well ;o)

Her: hu is this?
Me: yo, sup?
Me: i fund u @ random
Me: im jamie

Her: jamie...............
Her: ?
Me: ye
Me: hows u

Her: jamie.....................
Her: wot sur last name?
Her: *wots ur
Her: oops
Me: davies
Me: u wont kno me
Me: i liv in london

Her: no i dont soz!
Her: i'm Hayley
Me: hi, were from?
Her: Cheshire
Me: kewl
Her: ow old r u?
Me: i bin there once
Me: 18

Her: only once?!
Her: lol
Her: i'm 16
Me: itz far away
Her: ye just a lot!
Me: kewl
Me: 16 is kewl

Her: it's kinda borin!
Her: lol
Me: borin? 16 is fun!!!
Me: r u hott? ;)

Her: wudnt u like 2 kno!!
Her: lol
Me: sur i wuld ;)
Her: i'm about 5"2, brown eyes, blondish / brownish air, slim, wear glasses, but ye i wudn't say i'm ugly!
Her: In fact, far from it!
Me: wikkid
Her: (not in a big headed way!!)
Her: u?
Me: 6" tall, black hare, musclar, i play rubgy
Her: sounds nice
Her: u got pic?
Me: no, u
Her: nope soz
Me: sham
Me: wuld hav bin nice ;)

Her: yeh lol
Me: so wot do u do?
Her: i go college
Me: study wot?
Her: GCSE's
Me: wot 1s?
Her: maths, english, media study's, cild care, and psycology
Her: wot bout u? wot do u do?
Me: i work
Her: doin wot....
Me: but i sunds stupid
Me: i pack boxs
Me: pays well tho

Her: th@s all t@ m@r then innit
Her: brb
Me: kk
Me: ye
Me: loooooaaaaadss
Me: Wow, is that the time?
Me: I have to go butcher some kids
Me: Bye

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I fucking despise (with a great passion) those who think it's both highly intelligent and 'K3WL' to use such horrible shorthand online. Why do it for fucks sake? Is it any quicker? No. AND it takes the person reading it much longer to decipher.

'wudnt u like 2 kno!!'

I do hope she gets arthritis in her hands as soon as possible so she can never use a keyboard ever again. Tart.

You can read her journal here:

You'll love her - she spelled "believe" as "bleev" once. It's shocking :o)

people are strange.


There was once a young russian man who didn't know what birth
certificate was in English (which was apparently stolen)...and
he went around asking " Where's my child letter? "..... sigh

Me: Wow, is that the time?
Me: I have to go butcher some kids
Me: Bye


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