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The further musings of The Unknown James
As part of my "No More Internet Girlfriends" rule, I thought I'd scare you off by letting you know just how I'm thinking. Opinions will be welcomed, if you have them :o)

At least marriage comes with a set of implied rules, set down by society. At the very worst, many (perhaps even most, but in today's society, I'd not bet on it) of us had parents who were married, and we at least have a general idea of how it might be meant to work that we got from TV or whatever.

All I'm asking for is a template that can be followed if we want, but can be ignored if need be. Just something to work with, in terms of how the hell this dating thing is meant to go.

Only the other day, one of my friends hooked up with a random girl in a club, they spent the next ten minutes kissing, and she then spent the rest of the night ignoring him, avoiding him, and letting him know that she didn't even want to get to know him. I mean, how messed up is my generation?

I wouldn't have thought it polite or even reasonable to kiss somebody randomly whom you had no intention of ever speaking to again, or learning the name of, or anything. If there were some linear scale along which relationships progressed (friendship -> holding hands or whatever -> kissing -> sex) or something, one could at least gauge where one stood, and it would have a format. It's the people who jump in at stages 3 and 4, or who try to do it backwards that screw the system :o)

Loathe as I am to say it, I really do wish I'd been born 20 odd years earlier... This MTV generation thing that I appear to be a part of haven't got a clue about these things. My parents married at ages 25 and 22 (respectively, rather than consecutively), and that seemed okay. These days, nobody wants to settle down until after they've had their fun, which just throw the whole thing out of whack, because the 20 year olds around now aren't looking to meet somebody they'll marry in 2 years, but are looking for a number of people to pass the next 10 years with before they get married.

Quite why I want to settle down escapes me. I'm sure there's a reason that other people don't want to, and want to have their fun, but I just don't see it. For me, all I really ever wanted to do was to be married and have kids. I've wanted to be 30 and married from about the age of 13 - it's kinda weird to have an ambition quite like that :o)

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Well, SOMEONE's gotta have kids, so ... ;-)

Well if you find one who wants to have 'em with me, let me know :o)

Certainly will do, although be forewarned, they'll have to be damned special before I'll direct 'em your way. ;-)

Don't worry about that - right now, I'm not feeling too fussy... :o)

Ah, okay ... does she have to be breathing? ;-)

*adds 'breathing' to list*

being married in my 20s sucked, i didn't get it yet, confused love with need, committment with obligation. getting married at 30 was and continues to be wonderful. as much as i never wanted to be a "kids these days" person, i'm glad they're not getting married, marriage gets such a bad rap as it is, so i'd rather kids these days wait till they have a clue what they're doing before they get married. if you understand and are ready for the level of committment it takes to make marriage work, you're a rare twentysomething.

While obviously not the most objective people, I rather think that I am ready for that level of commitment and everything that goes with it... I just hope that I'm right about it :o)

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