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Went outside to sit in the rain for a bit. I really am a strange boy sometimes... Sitting out the back, with the warm breeze, and the light drizzle... It was relaxing.... I only came in because I was falling asleep out there...

Currently listening to Roxy Music - More Than This... Such a great song, it really is... I remember we used to listen to this song in the car on holiday and stuff... Ah, memories. Life was simpler then. No confusion. But now? I don't know what I want or who I am any more.

And now it's The Bangles - Eternal Flame... I seem to be listening to lots of nostalgia music. Part of me wants to run away from everything into my past, to a time when I was happier. It's funny, I find it difficult to remember such a time, but I'm sure one existed. I can remember sitting on the windowsill in my room back home, with a few WH40k figures on my bed, listening to the radio, and looking out onto the sunny road. It's a memory of happiness for some reason, but I know that it was at the time when I was thinking about killing myself. I didn't do it for two reasons. The first is the song Ordinary World by Duran Duran, which is why it is and always shall be my favourite song. The second reason was that I was damned sure that I could make a difference if I just stuck around, grew up, and did something. Never lost sight of that reason - I can do stuff, and as soon as I can be arsed, I will.

Ah, and now it's Nelly Furtado - I'm Like a Bird... Every time I hear this song I think of Laura... Her MSN nickname for ages was "I'm like a bird, I'll only fly away", but due to the enclosed nature of my stay at Uni, I'd never heard the song. I first heard it back at Easter when I was listening to the radio while I was in the shower, and it was just like "Woah, she's singing Laura's name"...

Next song in my list (yes, I'm just sitting here listening to music and thinking about it) is Lionel Richie - Hello... Coincidentally, this song was on the same tape (that I recorded from the radio) that my first copy of Ordinary World was on (before I went out and bought it on CD). It's such a lovely song, the vocals are especially good on certain lines
'cos I wonder where you are
And I wonder what you do
Are you somewhere feeling lonely
Or is someone loving you
Tell me how to win your heart
'cos I haven't got a clue
But let me start by saying
I love you
The day I can write lyrics like that and sing them as well as he can is the day that Suckers for Self Destruction (I love that name, heh, and it is so apt) become an international success... :o)

And the next song is Swirl 360 - Candy in the Sun. As I recall, this was on the Never Been Kissed soundtrack, which was the film we went to see in New York if I recall correctly. It reminds me so very much of being in America, even though we didn't listen to the song until after we got back. At one point, I'd just listen to this, Sugar Ray, Goo Goo Dolls, Garbage, and a couple of other artists whose songs I heard in America. I missed that place a lot after I left, and that's really saying something, since I gave up the chance to be on national TV to go there...

And now, Martika - Toy Soldiers. Short story accompanying this one, basically, it was a song I'd randomly recorded onto a tape off the radio, and I used to listen to it a bit. I remember Dan Sheerin used to say it was crap and I'd argue with him over it, which just goes to show how many years ago this was... Then I didn't hear it for many many years, until I stumbled across the tape last summer (I think it was then, anyway). Ah, it brought back memories, that did...

Anyway, enough of that.... It's time for me to go to bed now. I like thinking about stuff like that... Takes my mind off the exam I think I failed this morning, and off my life in general. Amusing role reversal in my life actually, but I'll go into that some other time. Right now, I think I should just piss off to bed. G'night all.

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I too would hug you, but the distance between us is a bit too far for my big arms to grasp you, anyhow...

Lionel Richie.

'Hello' is brilliant. Especially the video to it if you have ever seen it. I'm trying to remember another of his biggest hits, oh 'Dancing on the Celling'? No wasn't that, much in the same vein, buggered if I remember what it was called now. Miffle :|

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