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(Private) Stupid People can say Smart Things
"It's sometimes hard to distinguish love from infatuation, and it's harder still to distinguish loving from being in love with"

This from Asshole Boy who will die a slow painful death when I catch up to him...

Mind, about a year ago, Laura said something similar to me. That one sticks in my memory, just because it really was the nicest turn-down I've ever known. She basically took my emotions apart gently, and then put them back together in a way that couldn't hurt me.


It's funny how I kept running back to her though, even after that. Even when I had Jo, I ran to Laura. Even when she had Mitch (my best friend's best friend and everything) I ran to Laura. And the reason I do is just so stupid, frankly, because it make less than no sense. She's one of the safest people I've ever had in my life. She helped me ruin my chances with Jo, she made me doubt my feelings for several girls just by being there, she always knows exactly how to get to me, but she's never ever hurt me.

It occurred to me tonight, towards the end of the conversation - she puts up with everything from me, and always has, and is always supportive. Of all my friends, she was the only one who really understood why I stayed with Jen, and why I was doing what I was. And she always does everything in such a way that she never upsets me... Kinda nice, that. Even when she has a go at me about Jo (like the other night, when she got the total wrong end of the stick and accused me of goodness knows what), she always does it nicely. She doesn't tell me what to do, she just points me in the right direction. With most of my friends, when I do right, they acknowledge it, and when I do wrong, they yell at me. With her, when I do wrong, she talks to me reasonably about it, and when I do right, she says nice things... Like when I had to turn down Jo, back in the day:
Jim says:
OK, I'll do it, but I wish it didn't have to be this way
Lauriana says:
I have a great deal of respect for you right now :)
Jim says:
Enough respect to sleep with me? ;-)
Lauriana says:
too much respect to sleep with you ;)
Heh... David's approach was that if I didn't talk to Jo about it, he'd yell at me, and if I did, he'd say nothing. I dunno, I just think her approach was better...

Blah, random tangent... Oh well, I was gonna post about everybody from up in Manchester sooner or later, so this can be the first part of that...

So, who else.. Well, there's Jo. Jo, whose smile always reminded me of Britney Spears, especially in the video for Lucky for some reason... Jo, with her odd confidence in so much of herself, yet a huge lack every now and again about certain aspects. Jo, who I met through David online, and who had never been described to me... Then I was up in Manchester, with David, Phil, Morg, Jon, Emily, and a few others, and saw her walking towards us, and I knew it was her. Then when I came back the next weekend, she was stood against the same pillar that I had been a week before, reading a newspaper, waiting for me.

Blah, difficult to describe her. Complicated girl, really. Hidden behind a blonde ditz character, when it was obvious she wasn't at all stupid. Well, not mostly (kidding ;o). Went to see Mission Impossible 2 with the 18 of them up in Manchester, and she deliberately sat next to me, with her arm in contact with mine the whole time, before we'd even really spoken. Made me feel 13 years old again, with a little crush or something. Then going to see her on the Sunday as a surprise on the spur of the moment, just because I could. Ho hum...

Seeing Chicken Run with her, too. It's funny, I refuse to do things with people that I did with girlfriends. I won't watch Chicken Run because I saw it with Jo. I won't go to the Bad Ass Café in Dublin because I did it with Karen (not that I was likely to, but they do make the best pizza I've ever eaten - but I won't go back). Not... well... OK, so those really are the only two people I can say I've ever been on dates with...

Anyway, so Jo... She had these seven reasons we couldn't be together. I forget what they were now... I was older, her parents would kill her, I was too far away, I was going to Uni, she had school to think about, I forget now... We were, apparently, impractical. Blah...

I dunno where this is all going. I'm too tired to be trusted with a keyboard. Just pouring out memories that seem vaguely relevant to the manchester theme. But aside from Laura and Jo, and of course David, I hardly talk to any of that crowd any more. Becky and Katie vanished, Hannah because something of a bitch, Julaine has never especially liked me (dunno quite why - perhaps it's because she's about the only one from up there that I didn't flirt with last summer)... Ho hum...

I'm sleepy, and feeling crap. Bed time again I think. Blah, this can go as a private post, since it makes no linear sense, and generally sucks ass. Probably be deleted in the morning when I'm awake.


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