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Hmm, quick update
Right, I'm off to bed sooner. I have my presentation to do at 11:30am tomorrow, and I've still not done a second of work on it, bar the intro that I worked out the other day, and most likely won't be using. I may try improvising it 100%, or I may just work my arse off for the two hours before it tomorrow morning. Who knows?

Ah, I've had an odd evening.... In total, I've spent about three hours with Jen on the webcam tonight, which is rather a lot when you think about it.... And I enjoyed every single second so much. And last night, for that matter, when she actually asked what had gotten into me.

See, here's the thing. Listening to Liz on the phone last night just depressed me. I wanted to be talking to Jen, not her, and her depressed whiny voice was just bugging me a bit there. It reminded me so much of how my life was 10 months ago - emotions in tatters, no confidence in myself at all, I was a complete wreck. And the whole being emotionally fucked up thing lasted until about the middle of Feb this year. In short, to coin Claire's phrase, I was being "an emotional retard". Ho hum. So, what changed?

Simple answer - Jen came into my life. I've spent the last two months completely content with the state of my emotions, and completely content with how my life is going in that respect. Then Liz calls me yesterday, on the two month anniversary of Jen and me telling the other we love them. And it made me suddenly realise exactly how much Jen has done for me over these past few months, and how much she's improved my life.

And then tonight just ruled. There were a few ups and downs, but for the most part, we were both in playful moods, and from my point of view at least, we both had good fun. Interesting points included me pouring water over my head, putting my webcam in my mouth, giving Jen a unique view of my chin, her turning her webcam upside down, showing me her cute new hair...

It just all went to show how much fun we'll have in the summer. Webcams aside, I honestly think that we have fun together, and from this distance that's quite something. She always has me smiling, and for some reason my bizarre random outbreaks of inane physical comedy seem to make her laugh.... I can't wait for the summer, when (all things going well), I'll be spending a whole month with her. I'll be going over at the start of July, and coming back at the end. One seventh of my year, by the end of July, will have been spent in her company, which....

Holy shit!

I wanted to work out what proportion of my life I'll have spent with her, once I come home. It's one month out of my life. I'm 19 years old, and I'll have been 19 for the whole of December, Jan, Feb, March, April, May, June, July. That's 19 years and 8 months. Expressed as a fraction of my life, therefore, the time I spend with Jen will be:

1 / ((19 x 12) + 8) =
1 / ((228) +8) =
1 / 236

Yes, at the end of July, I will have spent 1/236 of my life with Jen, if we're dealing with months as being our unit of measure. If ever I saw a sign that this is definitely happening, that's it. Bloody Hell.....

Fate. Funny thing, really :o)

Um, anyway, yes. Tonight just showed me how much fun we'll have, and refreshed my memory of how much I love her. Not that that was needed. And now I know things will work out OK - numbers like that don't just pop up out of nowhere :o)


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