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Prepare your bladder for imminent release!
Without wishing to make a silly pun, this is taking the piss..

I woke up at 4:30am, very much awake, and absolutely ready to get up for work, had I so wished. With hindsight, this was entirely because I had a mighty need to use the restroom, and upon the completion of my goal, I went back to bed, thinking that it would be easy to get up for work an hour later.

... two hours later ...

Damnit. I was still on time for work, I just wasn't early like I'd wanted to be, having managed to kill my alarm when it went off at the correct time. But on the bright side, I've come up with a fantastic invention - an alarm clock that creates a need to pee. I don't know how you'd work it exactly, and you would want it to simulate the need (otherwise you're just selling a box that will make people piss themselves every now and then), but still.. The body seems to be more than happy to wake up if it senses the need to use the toilet, which works far better than setting four alarms (as I did this morning).

So now I just need to find a way to make the body think it needs to pee, and then patent that as an effective way of making people wake up in the mornings. I'm going to be rich!

And I will share those riches with all those who spot the references in this post

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There's me thinking that my alarms at 5:30, 5:31, 5:32 and 5:33 would be annoying enough to make sure that I was awake..

But alas not :o(

I think the only obvious answer here is to have someone stomp on your bladder to wake you up.

Also, your journal is, um, purple.

Edited at 2009-06-01 09:10 am (UTC)

Is it not meant to be purple?

No! You have to stay inside the masculine box! Gah!

I have never set foot inside the masculine box, I'm not about to start now :oP

I like the way your mind works. I would definitely buy something like that.

So why don't alarms wake you up? Maybe you should invent an alarm that inflicts pain or something. This pee thing sounds complicated.

The alarm does wake me up, but I still want to sleep. So I turn off the alarm and go back to sleep "for a bit", which ends up being an extra hour.

When I wake up in the night really needing to pee, the thought of just going back to sleep never even crosses my mind - that would be a pretty bad idea.. :o)

Valid point. However, I think that if something was like.. stabbing you, and you'd have to get up and turn of the Sadistic Alarm Clock (TM) you wouldn't think "Well fuck this I'm going back to sleep" - you'd be thinking "MAKE IT STOP" sort of like when you have to pee really badly. It'd just be easier to create, is all I'm saying. Or perhaps I have something wrong with me.

I found putting alarms in another room helped. If it's annoying enough to not sleep through, and I have to get out of bed to turn it off, at that point, I'm already out of bed, and everything's fine from there :)

An alarm clock that sounds like a fountain. On TV, the sound of running water always seems to make people need the toilet. Although that's always real, not just simulation, and I'm not even sure if it's true of real life.

Also, references other than the Invader Zim one?

I'm not sure how many people will buy into a device that requires you to insert electrodes into your urethra every night...

"Prepare your bladder for imminent release" and "mighty need" are Zim references, I don't see any others :-\

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