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Picture the scene, if you will - it's Stupid O'Clock, on Saturday the 11th of January, and it's cold. Waking up to alarms and being too tired to remember quite why they were set... A single red minibus drives around Brighton, picking up seven sleepy Mohawks, as follows:

Felchers (Captain)
Twat Beard
Ben Hen

Also known by their human names of Felix, Jamie, Ben, Julien, Matt, Penny and Vicky respectively. At this point it might occur to you that seven people isn't really enough - it left us with only two substitutes, which made the whole thing somewhat tiring. But still, the lure of increased pitch time was strong...

After arriving safe and sound (thanks to Nicole's driving), our first game was against Uriel, who I believe were from Exeter, or someplace like that. In true Mohawks fashion, we were utterly dicked on, 12-0. It was only 9:30am and we'd all had minimal sleep, and they seemed to be very tall... Still, no need to be bitter - if it hadn't been for them, we wouldn't have won an award - I'll get to that later.

Our second game was against Skunks 2, the second team of the tournament hosts. The final score was 4-2 to us, though they caught a dubious disc in the last few seconds, and since our goal-difference type thing was already somewhat screwed, we let them have the point. It was the nice thing to do, even though it's hard to be sure whether they were entirely in the end-zone when they caught it. I managed to take a blow to the head during this game, so if the rest of the tournament report makes no sense, it's due to the brain damage I doubtless sustained.

Our third game was against Brixton's Angels team, who beat us 11-2, but it was a fun game, and their call was nothing if not original. We went out to their car, smoked the peace pipe, and just hung out a bit. For that, they got our spirit vote. Fourth game was against Mr Men (second place overall), and they beat us 11-2 as well, but they did apologise afterwards for not going a bit easier on us - they were looking to get a good goal-difference-type-thing, so they couldn't afford to slack off at all. At least they said sorry...

Our last game of that day was against Brunel STD 1, who beat us 9-2. No real surprise there, they went on to do quite well and win the plate... And after all that, we went to the swimming pool and spent some quality time getting wet there. Mostly seeing how long we could sit on the bottom of the deep-end for (and discovering that Julien is an aquatic freak ;o). That was all good and stuff...

Onto the night - we went out for the team meal at Pizza Hut. Unsurprisingly, Curry ate twice as much as anybody else did, keeping up the tradition nicely... We had to wait for ages, while a certain team from Imperial College managed to get a table long before us by sending a couple of guys along early to reserve one for them. I don't recall any of us being impressed... Eventually we finished our meal, and went to the Hobbit for drinks (though they decided that I looked 17 and didn't let me in - needless to say, I have a few things to say about that, but I'll keep them to myself).

After that, we all headed to Kaos, for a cheesy music night, which are *always* good. The music was fun, they played some Chesney, some Proclaimers, Beatles, Abba, Bonnie Tyler, all the good stuff (and I'll hear nobody contradicting that, thank you so very much)... Oh, and they had a big projector there, which was showing Star Trek: First Contact and Starship Troopers, albeit without sound. It's almost as if they knew that Frisbee players are closet-geeks - what foresight.

After the club we wandered the mile or two back to the house we were staying at, and all collapsed into sleeping bags on loads of mattresses on the floor, and had a few hours of sleep. It wasn't nearly enough, but still, it was better than nothing. Thanks should be given to the Skunks player who put us up - it was perhaps the warmest, most comfortable place I've stayed at yet, out of all the tournaments we've been to this year. We all got up the next day, hung over and irritable, and after some sweet driving by Nicole, managed to get to our first (9am) game versus UCL on time. Unfortunately, we lost 5-3, after some brave fighting but first games aren't meant to be won.

Our second game that day was against the Skunks' third team, and we lost (despite beating their second team the previous day). I'd put it down partly to them having twice the players - we only had two subs, which meant all our players were stuck on the pitch for ages, whereas they could swap a lot. But at the end of the day, they scored more points than us, and tiredness is no excuse - they just outplayed us. That'll teach us to be complacent.

The next game really ought to have been the most fun - Mohawks vs. Aye-Aye. Unfortunately, after both our teams had been losing a load of games, nobody was really up for just messing around, everybody wanted to win too much (imagine that, a sport where winning is actually important - shocking). Given that both teams were finishing in the bottom four, you'd think nobody would really care about exact positions, but we did - nobody wants last place. It was a good game, well fought, and ended up as a 5-4 win to us.

Final game was for 21st/22nd place, against Surrey Slingers. They had massive support since they also had the old-school-surrey team (Disconduct) there egging them on. It was really close, especially since they were made up of a-team players, and we were largely a b/c-team. We managed to win it 5-4, but it was touch and go for quite a while, and standing on the sideline as the clock ticked down on the last point was real agony... It was almost like watching a penalty shoot-out in a football match - that sort of sick feeling of anticipation...

Then came the various finals. The main final was Yo Mama vs Mr Men - a Southampton derby. It was a really great game, good spirit throughout, and had the single most amazing layout I've ever seen, by one of the Yo Mama players. She caught it while falling horizontally (no more than a couple of inches from the ground), with the tips of her toes still in the pitch, thus scoring the point in the endzone. Fantastic stuff... It finished on a draw, so it went to sudden death with Mr Men in possession (which was a delight to watch - two excellent teams giving it their best). After passing it around a bit, it turned over, and Yo Mama scored, thus winning the tournament. 'twas a great final :o)

Then came the awards. After her antics at the party with one of the Uriel players (not to mention pulling Penny), Vicky won the F6UK sharking award. We also won Spirit, which was a fantastic achievement - that's three times out of four indoor tournaments this year. Well done to everybody - we couldn't win it without everybody playing fairly, and having fun. Special congratulations, naturally, to Felix for captaining such a well spirited team.

Anyhow, we came back to Uni, with Stuart, a player from Fingers 6 (one of the guys we met up at Edinburgh Beginners). And not only that, but we got back in one piece too - cheers Nicole :o)

For those that are interested, here are the various calls that stood out in my mind after the tournament:

Aye-Aye: They had us all kneel down in a circle, facing inwards, with our eyes closed, then charged at us screaming. We were convinced they were gonna execute us or something (well, we had just beaten them), but as it turned out, they gave us shoulder massages instead, which was really good of them.

Skunks 2: They brought a toy gun with them which fired foam discs, blindfolded a player, and had to instruct them on where to aim in order to shoot players on the other team (followed by exaggerated death scenes, of course)

Mr Men: Their call was something like "don't do your call, and we'll give you our spirit vote". We did our call anyway, and won spirit regardless. That'll show them....

Anyway, in summary - great tournament, certainly one of the best I've ever been to, and it was just a shame more people couldn't come and enjoy it. Hope to see you all at the next one.

Twat Beard