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I hope so much that this is a joke..
I have come by the following, and am desperately hoping that it's some sort of grossly mistimed April Fool's joke:
Acxiom Team,

I’m Shawn Donovan, leader of our Global Sales Organization. I’m reaching out today to let you know about something I’m very excited about – our new push to globally celebrate corporate wins across all our offices.

You probably recall hearing about this effort in a recent “Message from John” and now it’s my privilege to officially introduce our “WOW from the Win” program. It’s a pretty simple project but one that I hope you’ll enjoy and appreciate as it starts showing up on your PC desktop over the next several days.

You’ll hear a vocal “Wow!” followed by a pop-up message on your PC that alerts you to a significant win that we can celebrate together, virtually. You’ll see just a few details, enough to give you a flavor of what we’ve achieved with a client or prospect in a particular region and industry.

You may ask “How did we do this?” and the answer is our Global Marketing teams worked with our Internal Systems teams – watch for kudos in Thursday’s Globe – to install an application on everyone’s work station. So you should be all set without having to do anything.

You may also ask “Why did we do this?” and the answer is we’re all in sales and need to celebrate “our” corporate wins that drive success for everyone in the company. Not only is it good for associates to know where we’re winning and what we’re selling – it’s just good practice to recognize and celebrate the good things happening in our company. If we’re winning in sales, we’re all winning!

Now, I know there are also some out there who’ll ask “How do I undo this?” – but hopefully not many. We do realize there are cases where you may be presenting to a client or conducting an important meeting and would find the pop-up distracting. For just such a time, we are making it possible to short-circuit the application (see tomorrow’s Globe story). But here’s hoping everyone catches the spirit and pumps their fist in victory every time a “Wow!” comes calling.

We’re all in this together, so let’s celebrate our victories together.

Happy winning!
I mean, it is a joke... Right...? If not, then thank God I don't work for Acxiom..

But if it's not a joke, I hope that the "Wow!" sound is actually the opening "YEEEAAHHH!!!" from the CSI Miami theme tune. That would motivate me.....

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For a second I thought that you did work for Acxiom. And I felt sad for you. :(

But...it's probably not a joke. Therefore, what...the...shit.

For a second there this almost made me crack a smile. Almost. :)

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