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I'm not sure which motivates me more, the past or the future..

On the one hand, there's the future - my father has diabetes, has had heart surgery, and none of it has been the least bit fun. It is rather important that this doesn't become my fate also, because diabetes would be an absolute pain in the ass, and heart disease is generally to be avoided where possible.

Then there's the past - looking back at how I looked say five years ago, there's such a difference.. For starters, I was actually rather pretty, though I'm sure I didn't fully appreciate that at the time. It's probably a good thing too, because my decision making back then was poor enough without throwing even more self-confidence into the mix. But more than that, I was thin - properly thin.

I mean now, if I stand up straight my belly doesn't stick out or anything. But there is still a certain thickness to my torso that was never present before, and there's no denying that. I watched a video I made years ago, and in it I have actual muscles, and I looked toned and healthy. Obviously a lot has changed since I was 21, and I don't expect it to be easy to get back to that point, but I feel like I ought to try. There really are no good excuses not to..

I brought my gym kit to work with me today, thinking I might head over there tomorrow maybe. Sod that - I'm going this morning, and I won't stop until I'm exhausted (cue jokes about that only taking five minutes). I've run out of excuses not to.

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Interesting, I seem to be pretty much that same as I was at 21... I've not put on weight, or lost weight, I'm still as thin as I ever was and I don't think I look much - if any - different : /


You can do it!!!

'sod that'

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