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Oh dear.. it appears that MySpace is now the communication medium of choice for anybody wishing to keep in touch with former school peers.. This is quite the issue, because I refuse to get a MySpace as a matter of principle. It is very much not the done thing to have such an abomination, though exceptions can be made.

But not for me. Because the people of my age that have one are usually either using it in order to synchronise bouts of binge drinking between shifts at Waitrose, or are cynically trawling it in an attempt to engage in sexual activities with strangers. I hope I have nothing in common with either group, and it's telling that my friends from school don't actually use it themselves. But of course it's not now that it's an issue - it's in five/ten years time when I want to find people.

I saw something earlier that referred to Friends Reunited as the 'original' social networking site, but I don't think it qualifies. For starters, it did not allow you to create social networks - rather it forced upon you networks depending on which schools you attended. No meaningful data relating to who was friends with whom was captured. In fact, I find Friends Reunited to be more like a telephone directory with metadata. That's why I liked it - it wasn't somewhere to show off your pictures, or browse for 'totty'.. It was just somewhere to say what you're up to, and give people a chance to contact you.

These days, the (inherently poor-quality) Web 2.0 revolution seems to break all that stuff.. No longer do people use a telephone directory to keep in touch.. They coordinate their efforts through sites that enable them to rank their friends, segregate their 'top eight', put up numerous drunken photos, and collect comments from illiterates and fools. Their profile can contain the latest Jackass clip, set against the backdrop of a thumpin' (sic) drum and bass track and a page so heavily customised with CSS that you can no longer select text or right click.

It's sort of similar to being told that the only telephone directory that is of any use is The Black Pages, a who's who of Drug Addicts and Child Molesters. In fact, that's a fairly accurate analogy.. In any case, it's not a volume you would wish to own, and certainly not one you'd want your name appearing in. And yet, it is apparently the way forward. God help us all...

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MySpace = load of ol' donkeytoss.

There we go. I signed up to it so I could be nosey and view more info on my fellow 'peers' from Lord Bills - until I then realised that the majority of them are a bunch of pretentious arseholes and grew bored within a nanosecond.

Oddly, my mickey-take profile has attracted one loser alread:

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