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It's nice to know that other companies are more rubbish than you are..

I got the following SMS from NTL:

"Great news! Your ntl services will be installed on 7/2006 00: between 8-1"

I mean honestly, what on earth does that actually mean? Our messages are much better, and make actual sense.. But then, it's only NTL, I doubt they have much call for good CRM.. Though they could know an awful lot.. Here's some examples of how far it actually goes, if the companies are doing their jobs..

Hi, we're NTL. We know when you use your landline, and how often, which means we know when you're home. We know which channels you watch and when, though we don't know if your TV is on at the time. We know which movies and on-demand items you buy. We know where you live, which means we can make some broad assumptions about your socioeconomic status. We know your age, and your name. If we're good, we know what times you use which protocols on the Internet - we know when you browse the web, when you leave your connection on downloading from P2P services, and when you play games. We can make assumptions about whether you're on holiday or not. That's about it..

If we want to market to you, we know whether you like music based on your download patterns and on-demand choices. We know if you like movies. We know when you're more likely to be around to receive an e-mail. We know when you'll be home to call you.

Hi, we're Three. We know when you use your mobile, and how often, and if we're good, we know where you are when you do it. In fact, we always know where you are, if your phone is on. We know where you spend your weekends, where you go to work, how far you travel in a week. If we're REALLY good, we know whether you travel by car or by train. We know how many friends you have, how many text messages you receive, how many you send out. We know if you're a giver or a taker. We know if you order things using your mobile phone (i.e. ringtones), and if you browse the web on your handset. We know when you go on holiday, and where you've gone. We know roughly where your landline-based friends live, geographically, which we can crossmatch against where you are right now.

If we want to market to you, we know if you travel by train regularly. We know if you often call people who live a long way away - perhaps you have three different friends who all have landlines with a York dialing code. Maybe we can offer you cut-price train tickets there. We know if you travel by car, and how far you go - maybe we can sell you car insurance and already have a quote ready for you based on some assumptions. We know if you go for offers you receive in text messages, and whether you buy ringtones and on-demand mobile videos.

Hi, we're Sainsbury's. We know where you live, because we deliver. We know what you eat, and we know roughly how many people you shop for and how often. We know which snacks you can't resist, and we know what the first thing you add to your shopping basket is. We can perform analysis to see how important brand loyalty is to you. We can take the inredients you buy and make some assumptions about the meal you cook. We know how much you shop around on our website, and how many prices you compare before making a decision.

If we want to market to you, we can examine your online shopping basket while you're still shopping, and calculate meals for which you have most of the ingredients already. We can then suggest interesting recipes to you, and offer to add the missing ingredients to your basket. We can promote our own-brand versions of the foods you often buy, before you've reached the page that your usual items are on. We can put advertisements on our checkout pages for sweets and snacks that we already know you like, just like we do in the shops - only this time we're targeting you personally. Since we already know what you're going to buy, we can put together a special page full of organic (and more expensive) versions of your normal shop, and pretend we're doing you a favour.

Anyway, time to start work :o)


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