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I hate feeling like this.... I read about the party she went to, and rather than thinking nice thoughts about her having a good time, I just feel crap. The sad truth of the matter is, I'm not a part of her life, regardless of how much I wish I was. Now this is a feeling I'm not familiar with. I half felt it with Jo, but then, I knew all her friends anyway, so it was OK. And with Karen, I didn't feel it at all, although she felt it about me. Just this intense jealousy of all these people who get to live their lives with Jen, while I'm stuck here, totally in love with her, but totally alone.

Something like that is never a good happy thought... :o(


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