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Bless this wretched heart..
Cursed is the egotist, for his is a bleak world. In his attempts to
understand others, he will invariably project himelf upon them, along with
every flaw he claims not to have. And if he is not the person he wishes he
was, then nor shall anyone around him be.

So, I'll give this another shot.. I wrote something yesterday (and the day
before too), but I managed to trash my computer.. I mean, it wasn't my
fault.. I found this old piece of software that I used to use back in ye
olde days, and apparently Windows XP isn't great at running .exe files whose
"Last Modified" date is in the mid 1980s..

Ah, but that takes me back.. Learning Basic when I was little.. I'm not sure
exactly when it would've been, but I can't have been much older then nine or
so.. To think I've been programming for getting on for a decade and a half
(albeit at different levels of competence). And what's worse, I'm still
coding in approximately the same language now that I was then..

So anyway, I've been living in Cardiff for almost three weeks now, and I
think I'm getting the hang of it.. It's difficult to know exactly where the
moodswings are coming from then, since I have so many options.. For
starters, there's the fact that I work in a new place, without any of my
former friends and colleagues. Then there's the fact that I leave my house
at 7am, only to return at about 6pm - I've gone from spending seven hours
away from home to spending eleven hours away. Or there's the fact that
decent meals are few and far between. Or the fact that I'm living on about
six hours of sleep every night, which is something I'm not entirely used to.

One (or more) of those factors is leaving my mental state fluctuating
between two points - 'pathetic' and 'delusional', though at some points they
intersect.. Still, I'll get there, I just need to start accepting my current
situation as being normal, and start settling into it a bit more.. Finishing
off tidying my flat would be a good start, but after work each day I tend
not to have the energy for it..

So anyway, I'm now a marketing analyst. This involves getting hold of
bucketloads of data, and doing stuff with it, which is significantly more
interesting than it sounds. It's quite a learning experience to discover how
customers actually behave, and the amount of information I have access to
means I can find out just about anything I want, which is good fun.. My
restless curiosity appreciates this job :o)

Went to see Dav the other night at the Cardiff Barfly, which turned out to
be the least populous gig I've ever been to, I think.. There were fewer
people there than at Lifehouse, which was my previous smallest gig (at an
attendance of about 130, I think). Still, it was amazing, and I'm rather
liking the new material. As per usual, words can't actually describe how
much I enjoyed it, but it's made me wonder about going all the way to
Eastbourne for Milk & Cookies (assuming it's on again this year) and finding
a hotel or something.. We'll see..

In random news, I have discovered a previously hidden love of spaghetti.. I
can't get enough of the stuff, it's great. I'm not sure whether it was the
(awesome selection of) herbs and spices I put on it, or the grated cheese
over it, or just everything together, but it was truly scrumptious..

Anyway, I'm having fun.. the ceilings in my new place let quite a bit of
noise through, so I tend to be bothered by the (incredibly) loud music of
the people upstairs. Last night I compensated by playing my guitar on almost
1/2 of full volume. It sounded perfect, and very VERY loud. I may do the
same tonight if required.

I'm also reading the new Discworld book, 'Thud!', which I'm rather enjoying.
Reading on the train passes the time during my fifty minute long journey,
far better than music does. I can only assume that music gives your brain a
means of keeping time, whereas with reading it's a lot easier to get lost in
it. Whatever the explanation, it's making my days feel significantly
shorter, which can only be a good thing.

Ooh, and I saw Claire the other week, we met up for lunch, which was good..
which means that in the last couple of months, I've seen Jimbo, Claire, Mice
and Vicky.. It's weird when nostalgia starts to kick in for something that
happened when you were 18, but the whole university experience feels like it
was so long ago.. And moving away from Brighton has really made that feeling
all the more powerful - I'm living in a completely different world now..

Now it's just a case of seeing how that works out..


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