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A man got onto the bus and sat beside me. He was old, and smelled familiar. The smell was urine - I recognise it because I have a penis, and sometimes it leaks. He was singing Happy Birthday to himself under his breath. I thought shut up, you self congratulatory man, you can't even keep from spilling your piss. I wanted to tell him that a real achievement would be not smelling of waste, but I don't know any songs about bladder control.

He left, and was replaced by a girl with a suitcase. The driver told her he wasn't going her way, so she told him that he probably was really, and sat down. She had never been where she was going before, but still kept looking out of the window. I presume she was waiting to see somewhere she didn't recognise, because that would exactly match the description of where she wanted to be. I didn't ask, because the bus still smelled a little of urine, and I was worried she might think it was me.

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The twisted brainwrong of a one off man-mental.

You're a "special" person aren't you?

(and yes, I can do the quotes with my fingers if it makes you feel less self-conscious)

Your mum is special :oP

Aw, I'm glad you think so. None of the others seemed to.

No. Wait...

I randomly came across your journal.
And look, we have all sorts of interests in common.
I'm going to add you.
Add me back?


Careful, one of the interests he doesn't mention is stalking girls he meets on LiveJournal and doing Bad Stuff™ with them. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Thanks for the heads up.

He'd have to come a looooong way to stalk me, so I'm willing to risk it.


You're too old for him anyway

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