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Things I have never done...

(_) been drunk.
(_) smoked pot.
(_) kissed a member of the opposite sex.
(_) kissed a member of the same sex.
(X) crashed a friend's car.
(X) been to Japan.
(_) had anal sex.
(_) been in love.
(_) had sex.
(_) had sex in public.
(_) been dumped.
(X) shoplifted.
(X) been fired.
(_) been in a fist fight.
(X) had a threesome.
(_) snuck out of my parent's house.
(_) been tied up (sexually).
(_) been caught masturbating.
(X) pissed on myself.
(X) had sex with a member of the same sex.
(X) been arrested.
(_) made out with a stranger.
(_) stole something from my job.
(X) celebrated new years in Time Square.
(_) gone on a blind date.
(_) lied to a friend.
(_) had a crush on a teacher.
(X) celebrated mardi-gras in New Orleans.
(_) been to europe.
(_) skipped school.
(X) slept with a co-worker.
(X) cut myself on purpose.
(X) had sex at the office.
(X) been married.
(X) gotten divorced.
(X) had children.
(_) tasted my own sexual fluids.
(X) became a zombie and eaten people's brains.
(_) understood how these things interest me and end up in my journal without fail.
(_) had sex with more than one person within the same week.
(_) posed nude.
(_) got someone drunk just to have sex with them.
(_) got caught having sex.
(X) masturbated while driving.
(_) been to the USA.
(_) had sex in a staircase.
(X) caught my mother and father having sex.
(_) made someone cry.
(_) had sex with someone else in the room (not involved in the sex)

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Wow, I really wish I hadn't read that. Oh, and I fucking hope that I wasn't involved in the last one, but I wouldn't be surprised.

Fear not, Edley Web, I have never had sex with you while there was somebody else in the room!

You are easily the most horrible brother in the whole world ever!

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