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I've been thinking, in one of those rare moments of peace (yes, I was on the toilet, obviously).. One thing I thought about was how when I was little, having the runs was called "the squits", and it suddenly became apparent how much that sounds like "the shits". No prizes for guessing how that derived then...

But mainly I thought about how "real life" conditions you not to think. No wonder Internet Geekdom is a place of pretentious ranting and emo crap - it's the only outlet which lets you think for yourself. After the AOL generation forced the 'net to dumb down so that anybody could use it, being online doesn't require any brain power, so you get to actually use it for real thinking.

Get out into the real world, though, with all its social interactions and daily routines, and you suddenly find yourself applying your energies to that. I mean, thinking about it, this summer I thought a lot, about a great many things. But I get back to Uni, and I have four or five social circles to move in, each with its own set of people, conventions, and interpersonal relationships which have to be remembered. It's a task just to keep up with everything, and there's certainly no time for thinking about the nature of the universe, or whether or not luck can really be said to exist in any real form.

Then stick a person into a job where they have to actually perform tasks, and that keeps their mind occupied too. And you really do have a situation where toilet breaks are the only time you can actually think for yourself, away from the pressures society puts on you to become a social drone. Of course, then it's back to your manual labour, and your social interactions, and your various commercial brainwashing techniques, and suddenly you're not only saying "Buh?", but you're doing it in sync with the rest of the world, who are just as stupid as you are.

And this is more or less where I end this rant. Ideally, it would have some sort of conclusion, but either I've been brainwashed enough not to be able to work it out, or none exists. Those of you who think, enjoy it while you can. There's a reason it feels like nobody else does, and that's because the world slowly takes the ability away from them...

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I think I wrote something along these lines in your journal in the summer - but what you wrote fits very nicely into a lot of Marxist thought, particularly his ideas on the 'fetishation of commodities' - i.e. we never think about what it takes to produce something, we merely do it - because our mind and body is placed under the constraints of capitalism.

only if you allow it to be taken away. :P

That's what you think right now......

if you feel better thinking that. i know what you meant in your post, and i also know that's it's avoidable. you can't, of course, have your cake and eat it. ::shrugs::

Ah, well yes.... I mean obviously, if I live a lifestyle where I stay indoors, only interacting with the world in an information-gathering way (as I did for most of last year at uni and all summer) then it's possible to keep thinking. However, if you want a successful job / social life / family then mental sacrifices must be made. It's a scary thought...

well, as i said, you can't have your cake and eat it, but you can beat the bastard who's trying to take your cake...

analogies never did really work.

but there is a balance that can be kept. last summer, i managed fairly well, unlike the summer before last, where i did virtually nothing but work. i almost went insane with depression. :P

i've not sold into the white picket fence dream, and i'm not willing to make any mental sacrifices. everything is pliant, and things will vary in cyclic phases, but... oh, sod it. i'm going to get some lunch. suffice to say i'll continue to have enough money to tick over, think and question, have good friends, and if the situation should arise, have a relationship with someone. kids aren't something i'm willing to consider in the near future, what with them representing an enormous and immoveable responsibility to someone other than yourself - essentially they're a restriction on your freedom, which is something that, eventually, i might want, but right now... no. not fair on me or any child, you know.

also, i enjoy sleeping, not being interrupted, and not cleaning up vomit and shit. ;)

you people should really start getting sleep ;)

discussing things will always be so much more interesting. ;P

and this, in fact, ties into what we were talking about anyway. :D

nope. my bed beats it all.

now that's an invitation.

"It's only death if you accept it..."

god hates a coward sonny.

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