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Well, I finished the book...
2012
unknownj
I really liked this one....

Okay, it's in the past, when Vimes was just starting out in the City Watch, and stuff, and Downey (Assassin's guild etc.) is still a student...

    Downey turned back to the table and a movement - or, rather, a lack of movement - caught his eye. Towards the far end one young assassin was sitting reading, with a book stand positioned in front of his plate. He was intent on it, an empty fork halfway to his mouth.
    With a wink at the others, Downey selected an apple from the bowl in front of him, stealthily drew his arm back, and let fly with malicious accuracy.
    The fork moved like a snake's tongue, and skewered the apple out of the air.
    The reader turned a page. Then, eyes never leaving the print, he delicately brought the fork up to his mouth and took a bite out of the apple.
    The rest of the table looked back at Downey, and there were one or two chuckles. The young man's brow furrowed. Assault having failed, he was forced to try scathing wit, which he did not have.
    'You really are a scag, Dog-botherer,' he said.
    'Yes, Downey,' said the reader levelly, his eyes still intent on the page.
    'When are you going to pass some decent exams, Dog-botherer?'
    'I really couldn't say, Downey.'
    'Never killed anyone, right, Dog-botherer?'
    'Probably not, Downey.' The reader turned another page. That liuttle sound infuriated Downey even more.
    'What's that you're reading?' he snapped. 'Robertson, show me what the Dog-botherer is reading, will you? Come on, pass it up.'
    The boy next to the one currently known as Dog-botherer snatched the book off the stand and threw it along the length of the table.
    The reader sighed and sat back as Downey gave the pages a cursory flick.
    'Well, look here, you fellows,' he said. 'Dog-botherer is reading a picture book.' He held it open. 'Colour it in yourself with your paints or crayons, did you, Dog-botherer?'
    The former reader stared up at the ceiling. 'No, Downey. It was hand-coloured to his instructions by Miss Emelia Jane, the sister of Lord Winstanleigh Greville-Pipe, the author. It says so on the frontispiece, you will note.'
    'And here's a lovely picture of a tiger,' Downey ploughed on. 'Why're you looking at pictures, Dog-botherer?'
    'Because Lord Winstanleigh has some interesting theories on the art of concealment, Downey,' said the reader.
    'Huh? Black and orange tiger in green trees?' said Downey, turning the pages roughly. 'Big red ape in green forest? Black and white zebra in yellow grass? What's this, a manual on how not to do it?'
    Again there was a round of chuckles, but they were forced. Downey had friends because he was big and rich, but sometimes he was embarassing to have around.
    'As a matter of fact, Lord Winstanleigh also has an interesting point to make on the dangers of intuitive-'
    'This a guild book, Dog-botherer?' Downey demanded.
    'No, Downey. It was privately engraved some years ago and I succeeded in tracing a copy in-'
    Downey's hand shot out. The book whirled away, causing a table full of younger boys to scatter, and landed at the back of the fireplace. The diners on the top tables looked round, and then turned back in disinterest. Flames licked up. For a moment, the tiger burned brightly.
    'Rare book, was it?' said Downey, grinning.
    'I think it may now be said to be non-existent,' said the one known as Dog-botherer. 'That was the only extant copy. Even the engraved plates have been melted down.'
    'Don't you ever get upset, Dog-botherer?'
    'Oh yes, Downey,' said the reader. He pushed his chair back and stood up. 'And now, I believe, I will have an early night.' He nodded at the table. 'Good evening, Downey, gentlement ...'
    'You're a scag, Vetinari'
    'Just as you say, Downey.'

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OOOOOOH!! that sounds good! what's it called?! ooh vetinari is so fucking cool!! ooh!! *runsa round*

(Deleted comment)
That is so cool - what's the title of it?

oooh.. is that fanfic, or is that from the brand new Citywatch novel?

*squeals excitedly*.. oh wait.. that explains the Australasia book signing tour.. *duh*..fantastic Pratchetty goodness!
(sorry, the erratic punctuation is a symptom of over-excited teenage girl syndrome)


The Book

(Anonymous)
You don't know where Pratchett got the idea for Ventinari's book from, do you? I wondered if it was based on a real thing, like loads of other ideas Pratchett uses.

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