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Busy little bee
2012
unknownj
So, home again, it's only 2am, could've stayed longer but.. y'know... or maybe you don't, so I'll explain...

Our story starts earlier, when Claire, Alex and myself went to a cocktail bar down the road for drinks. Four Tuacas and I was ready to go experimental, so I went for some concoction of Creme de Banana and Baileys, called a "Banana Slip" apparently. I managed to actually flirt with the lass serving the drinks, which was a first, more or less. Okay, they was that girl in Crendon back home, but she didn't really count, we went into that pub every week for like a year (exaggeration), so it was just friendly chatting. But no, this was a girl who I had never met before, and I was actually having a laugh with her and stuff. Go me...

Anyway, after several of those, we wandered down to The Escape. Alex and Claire were bored out of their skulls for some reason, but I quite liked it. They played lots of Ash - Envy, Burn Baby Burn and Teenage Kicks. And a couple of Beatles songs. And two Eminem ones too. Plus the usual Blur, etc. They waited around until Cat arrived, and left shortly after, the wusses. I stayed on with Cat and her friends, and danced muchly. Spoke to her quite a bit, along with one of her friends - he was quite cool actually. 'twas all good.

Anyhow, after much "gay dancing" as Jimbo calls it (what's wrong with raising my arms over my head, and dancing around with my hips, eh?) the night swiftly became over. Oh well, 'twas still good. When Burn Baby Burn came on, I ran out to the dance floor and proceeded to just stand there playing the Air Bass, on account of how that was one of the two songs I played with Protoband. Oh, and they also played the Chili Peppers - By The Way, which I love, so that rocked. Much dancing, etc. I have whiplash from headbanging (despite not having my hair any more). All good :o)

I'm seeing Cat tomorrow at Frisbee, in the rain I expect, which should be good. She's fun to spend time with. It'd be nice if Claire and Alex would stop winding me up, accusing me of wanting her - she has a boyfriend, and I just really don't see her quite in that way. Just wouldn't seem quite right. Not going to happen.

Might ask Swedish girl whose name I can't spell out for a drink tomorrow after practice... I mean, what's the worst that can happen? I get turned down? So what, I'm used to it...

.. or am I? It's been a long time since I've actually been turned down, just because I tend to wait until things are bloody obvious anyway. I mean, the first time I met Rachel it took me ages to kiss her... With Mel and Caitlin, I just kinda waited for various feelings to become abundantly obvious.. With Jen, it was the same... I can't remember the last time I really put myself on the line and got rejected. Mostly because I don't take risks quite like that any more.

It's an element of dating that you lose as you get older - the obviousness of it all, I mean... There used to be a time when a "my friend fancies you" was enough to get two people together, but as we all develop faux maturity, we tend to stop doing that. In my experience, at least... And so your opportunities are limited to those you find. Occasionally I get lucky - I mean granted, I've managed to pull a couple of girls at parties in the last couple of months, and there was the whole Reading thing... But it's all fleeting. Nothing lasting ever comes of any of that.

I guess I just want something I can grab hold of and be able to say "this is mine", in a weird possessive way. I guess that's just what I look for. I'm driven by dreams of marriage and kids, and right now my life seems to be going in a direction away from all that. I know it's still early days, but I can't help it - when I was fifteen, my ambition in life was to be thirty, married and with a kid. I've always been like this... I guess I just don't feel right unless I'm working towards that goal in some way....

Oh well, time to lighten up, and go eat bacon for a bit (since that's all the food I have - I was going to wander over to the marina to buy stuff, but I decided that I was too knackered after dancing to walk a couple of miles).

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