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It's been a long time since I made this whole thing clear... Peoples' failures with the religious part of my little survey the other week demonstrated that I've obviously not spoken about this lately, so here goes... It's a lot more complicated than this, I've had a lot of time to think it through and work it all out. I spent the last year in my room, I thought a lot. I don't know what it did to me, but I'm sure I'll find out.... One of the things is that it meant I worked all this out in much finer detail than is displayed here, but there you go. Ask me about it if you want...

Why does the universe exist?
Because we perceive it. In an infinite nothing, given an infinite amount of time, something is bound to happen, otherwise the concept of time means nothing anyway. And more than once. Why are we here right now? Because we're capable of perceiving the universe, that's why. The universe can go an infinite amount of time without anything happening, and since there's nobody around to notice, it goes by as if in a single second. It's only when there are people around that time has any meaning. And given an infinite amount of time, it's quite reasonable to assume that ultimately, the universe will create self-aware entities. Which is us. The universe is here now because we're here to perceive it. This is sometimes referred to loosely as the anthropic principle, or something like that. However, I thought this up on my own ages ago, without any prior knowledge of this. This is a way of the universe working that I came to by myself, in a period of quiet reflection. And it works.

Is there a God?
Not just the one. There are many Gods, but not using the meaning of "god" from other world religions. I can explain this with the following parallels:

1. The universe is like one giant bitmap image. You have a canvas, and you want to paint it.
Case 1: There is no God. If this is the case, then there is no canvas. Just because the universe was created without God, the existence of anything in it directly results in God. I'll explain that in a minute, just bear with me
Case 2: There is one God. In this case, we have one big bitmap, and only white pixels to put into an already white picture. The universe is a boring place.
Case 3: There are multiple Gods. Suddenly, you can assign to each pixel an RGB value - you can have different amounts of Red, Green or Blue in each pixel, varying the colour. The more primary colours to choose from, the most colours you can make (although not in our spectrum, granted). The more Gods, the more variety in the universe. My observation points to two Gods. Here's another parallel, which suggests this further.

2. The universe is like lots of atoms. Shit, it is lots of atoms (allegedly, see later). Ignoring sub-atomics (I don't want to get into the six types of Quarks right now), this can be said to be like God.
Case 1: There is no God. Then there are no atoms. Duh. Atoms imply God.
Case 2: There is one God. Then all atoms are made up from one thing. No variety, it sucks.
Case 3: There are two Gods. We have positive and negative. Individually, these represent protons and electrons (we're not dealing with antimatter or stupidity here - the universe is made up of combinations of opposite charges, that much is fairly obvious), and put two together and you get a neutron. Suddenly, you have everything you need to build a universe out of.

You see what I'm talking about? You need more than one God, otherwise God can only create things in his own image, and nothing further. Nothing else exists. And two Gods works well - you have direct opposites of each other, which can create a whole spectrum of things in between.

But I said before that matter implies God, and that if things exist, then that means God exists. That's because I don't necessarily see "God" as being some supernatural deity who is conscious in the traditional sense... As far as I'm concerned, "God" is the sum of all the universe. You can't deny the universe exists, thus according to my definition of God, God also exists.

What/Who are the Gods?
Well, we need names for them. According to how I've vaguely observed it working in the universe, we have two God type things here, and there's a difference between them, in that they are opposites. So I look for a parallel here on Earth to make it more accessible to my own perspective. And I find one - men and women. So we now have a God and a Goddess, and that's a fairly simple way of looking at things. They are without gender, but it's a convenient naming structure, since the framework is already in place for it. Anyhow, yes, so we have a God and a Goddess. But what are they? Where are they? Arbitrarily, through media brainwashing more than divine inspiration, I have elected to associate the God with the physical world, and the Goddess with the spiritual. That is to say, my body is merely a part of the universal one that is the God, whereas my mind, my consciousness, is an aspect of the Goddess.

As I said before, the God represents the sum of all matter and physical existence in the universe. To me, it's a synonym for "everything". As far as I'm concerned, consciousness, the soul, emotion, all that stuff, that's different. That's not a part of the physical world. Music is another thing - you can't pin it down to physicality because it's so subjective, likewise beauty. So those things are represented by the Goddess - think of it as being the sum of all thoughts and feelings in the world.

Again, there is no gender issue here, just so you remember. Anyhow, the God himself has many aspects. These are all different - the physical world has many combinations of different aspects in it. So while I have two major deities, I have many minor ones, which make up the major deities. Similarly with the Goddess, she has many aspects, which in different combinations make up the key components of the psyche. They're not really personified or anything, it's just the recognition that the world is made up of many different building blocks.

Skewing off-topic here, but I've mentioned it a few times - I do not believe in atoms. I've done sufficient Chemistry and Biology to be sure of just one thing - the world doesn't work like that. It sure looks like it, but I don't give a shit whether you can prove it to me or not - the world doesn't work like that. This particular belief is my one concession to unwavering lunacy, inherent in all religious systems. My desk is wood - not atoms. My body is my body, not cells. You show me a microscope and the wonders of genetic science, and I'll bash your head in with a brick, and conduct my own experiments. That's called fanaticism. I know you can see cells. I know you can see atoms with scanning electron microscopes. It means jack shit - that stuff is there, sure, but it's not how it works. Atoms exist, but they're like hand puppets - they're there, but they're not the things that do stuff. It's what's behind them that controls the universe. So there.

Yes, loosely speaking, I do "spells". I make no secret of this. I can explain it perfectly rationally, though on this occasion I may well miss the mark. Not only did the universe have infinite time to conjour up substance, but it also has an infinite number of instances in which to do that. You know, the whole parallel universe thing - for every choice in life, both are played out. A theory popularised by some bad movies and even worse science fiction series (although there are many that I enjoyed greatly). Now, let's assume that everything happens somewhere, and every future is played out in some universe. Well I know I'm only in one place - my consciousness is right here, in this particular branch on the timeline. But what of the decisions yet to come? Might I be able to steer my consciousness down one particular branch?

Well, my religious beliefs say yes. I believe in the interconnectedness of all of this - there's a reason that I think of a God and a Goddess, and that's because they give some unity to the whole universe, a sort of one-ness to it all. Going quantum(ish) for a minute, the choices involved are made through chaos particles (otherwise we have a boring deterministic universe), or whatever the pop name for them is nowadays. Those particles whose behaviour cannot be predicted, and whose observation changes them. These are what make the choices. They do everything at once, just all in different universes. These are the driving force behind consciousness and free will. Free will exists because if I decide to kick somebody's ass, then that's the path on the timeline I follow. And that path exists, because there's a certain way the chaos particles can act which will lead to this happening. It's true - the predictability of chemical reactions leads to a deterministic model for the universe, but these things break that sufficiently that choice is possible.

Now, if you can choose to go down the path where you kick somebody's ass, why can't you choose to go down the path which leads to an easier test paper, and your being able to remember all your revision for it? Making a choice just involves your consciousness picking the path that you choose, so why does it have to be limited to things you can physically do yourself? With the test example, an identical you is taking the same test and failing it miserably - this still happens. But not to you. To a different you. Not the you with your consciousness. If I tell people that, through magic, I will make a table disappear, then I may well do so. But obviously, in their own little realities, I don't, because they're not on my path necessarily. The odds that they are on my path are equal to the odds that I can vanish a table using pure science - slim to none. However, on my path, it works. Though I've not tried - I don't have that much faith, I'd have to be stupid.

There is a drawback. This is a very powerful belief. I find it to be a comforting one. However, I'm not so deeply involved with my beliefs that they are unchangeable. It's like the good film Dogma says - it's better to have ideas than beliefs. As such, I would never "cast a spell" (simply undertaking the meditation involved in convincing myself that something will happen - I choose for it to happen, and have to believe that it will) that was too "out there". For instance - according to my belief system, I won't die if I believe I'll live. This is all very well, but I'm not going to endanger my life just to prove it. It's times like that when God ignores you, because you're being bloody stupid, and lets you die. Plus, while I may not die, I will die somewhere, and it will hurt others. So I keep away from that. If you see what I mean...

So what am I allowed to do? What must I avoid doing? Well, since we are all one, it is for the greater good of the universe (and therefore me) that I don't harm anybody else. On an underlying level, we are the same person, after all. Beyond this, it's a matter of personal choice - I may do something, I may not - it all depends. Much of my moral system comes from both my parents, and *gasp* the Bible. While nobody in my life ever encouraged me to read it, I did anyway. If taken at face value (and since wars have been fought by people who read into it, that's probably the best way), it's an excellent source of moral guidance. The teachings of Jesus, especially. Let me just talk about Jesus for a minute.

Due to my (perhaps warped) perception of reality, I have to say, I believe in Jesus. If enough people believe he exists, then perhaps through their belief, he does. If people act as though Jesus once existed (but he didn't), eventually they'll end up in exactly the situation that the corresponding people would in a universe where he did exist. Perhaps we're already at that point, perhaps not yet. Regardless, for all intents and purposes, should Christianity thrive and grow further, then he will have existed. It's an interesting theory, which is dangerous in the hands of people who think they can change history by convincing people that it never happened. However, it works for me - there's no difference whether he existed or not, so why not just assume he existed, and at least justify peoples' beliefs. For this reason, I actually believe in the existence of many religious figures who could otherwise be considered mystical. Provided there's sufficient belief in them, who's to notice whether they existed or not?

So yes, rules. Be nice to other people. Don't break any major laws, they're there for a reason. And in the words of a certain insectoid cartoon - always let your conscience be your guide.

So what happens when you die? I dunno yet - not decided. But, if I play my cards right, I won't die anyway. Let me explain.

Many years ago (well, 1996, so 6 years ago) I made a deal with God. This was long before I believed any of the other stuff, but I did believe in some sort of higher power. And I made this deal:

"I can't die until I hear, consecutively, the following three songs, in any order:"

I ain't going to tell you which songs. Basically, I did this because I didn't own any of the three songs, and didn't want to go until I heard them all together. I believed strongly then, as I still do now, that this deal will hold - seriously. I won't die until I hear those three songs together. They were, at the time, my three favourite songs, more or less. That won't help you though. The problem is, I am now in possession of all three songs on CD - I could, if I wished, listen to all three consecutively. Now, I dunno if I'd die shortly after this, or whether I might live another 80 years before dying. All I know is that until that day, I won't die.

I know it sounds nuts, but I honestly believed it then... And it just kinda became a large part of who I was, and stuff. I have to wonder what sort of mental state I must have been in at the time to actually accept such an odd belief, and keep it for so long, and believe it so strongly. But I do. Perhaps sometime soon, if requested, I'll give examples of various 'spells' I've tried (bear in mind that it's just a synonym for "decision", but it takes things beyond my own physical actions), or more detailed insights into anything here that isn't commonly understood (I dunno how clear I've been). But until then, there you go - that's my religion. Comments? :o)

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That all makes sense. Apart from the atoms... I didn't really get where you were going with that, and it seemed a bit of a random contradiction of instrumental science. But yes, I'll let you believe that without trying to subliminally convert you.

Sorry, you killed me somewhere in the second paragraph.

Great, I'll go collect my prize money....

Way better than most institutionalized, money-driven, denominational bullshit religions I've seen.

Well my favourite part is that since I invented it all myself, I'm of the opinion that people should just come up with their own set of beliefs. As such, it'd be wrong for me to try to convert anybody - if only other religions worked that way :o)

I agree. I hate religious imperialism.

A well-conceived plan, my young Padawan learner.

I like. It was weird. But I like it anyway.

It makes sense.

Your posts are always the most interesting things on my friends page.

Heh, thanks... But for the most part, they're boring really... :o)

*falls of chair*

...I think I'll have to re-read that later....

i saw the word spells and got excited, i'll read the rest later :)


Please bear in mind, I believed all this crap long before I had any idea who or what Harry Potter was ;o)

so those 3 songs are your stavromueller beta?


I seem to recall that the last time I posted this, you suggested that the three were Stairway to Heaven, Highway to Hell, and a song by Agnostic Front.... :o)

damn i'd forgotten about that. heh that was kindofa funny remark that yeah. of course i suppose that these 3 songs arent for instance number 1, 2 and 3 of any off your records. and i aint gonna ask either cuz the little devil inside me would make you a mix cd with those 3 songs in that order. anyways i suppose i'll be round england sometime around early november. i know i'll be visiting my brother + probably spend some time in london. but i'll be on an interrail ticket so i can travel for free. you in brighton? maybe it would be cool to meet up? have a few beers. or a jam? or something.....?

Heh, no, I make sure they never appear on the same CD or playlist as each other, ever, just in case... I'm very superstitious like that :o)

And sure, meeting up would be cool... Let me know when you're around :o)

called my brother today. discussed some options. most likely i should be round sometime around 4th to 6th. of course with me being me this could all change very quickly.....

makes sense.


in a similar vein, Leonard Nimoy was on the heaven and earth show this morning talking about his photographs.


something like that.

but it was interesting. and he was talking about the female aspect of divinity or spirituality or something. I can't really remember.


Nope, not enough sleep + greek art lecture + that is too much for my little brain.
Maybe later. Heh.

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