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If you could only see...
2012
unknownj
Back in work again, hooray, etc. Still, ultimately, I'm getting paid for this... Furthermore, I only have seven more days after this, and then I'm finally free. That Saturday I'll be travelling down to Brighton with all my stuff, and moving back into my house. Sunday will involve shopping early on, I think, followed by an afternoon of getting the place into shape in preparation for the coming madness, yay.

The first task is to clear out my room. I may be able to engineer it so that my father will take home with him some of the things I no longer need at Uni. There's stuff in my room that I can do without, and it'll all just make it easier to tidy. For I will have a nice room, because then I'll have a nice room, a DVD player, many hours of music, super-fast Internet, guitar, etc. And then my sad little world might possibly be complete.

I have a series of New Year Resolutions for the coming academic year, which I might as well run through right now... The first is to be more like Liam. I think this one is fairly simple - be friendly, outgoing, nice to people, pay no attention to how I'm perceived by strangers, walk in a cool way, and generally rock completely. The second resolution is to keep the best room in the house, which will be quite a challenge. It has to be tidy (that means free of pizza boxes), smell lovely (which means I get to burn more of my incense), be a cool place to be (which it already is, damnit), and stuff... The third is to spend more time with people like Mice and Vicky, who I didn't see all that much last year. Jimbo and I are both of the opinion that those two should come over more often, so we'll probably invite them around a fair bit. Fourth is to play more guitar. Over the summer I've become more competent technically, but due to the absence of my MP3 and tab collections, I've not been able to practice a lot of the songs I want to. When I get back, I'll start playing for a few hours every day again, and get back into it all.

All the other little things that I'm hoping to do generally revolve around confidence and such... One thing that amuses me is that so many people try to put me down, partially out of a belief that I need it because I'm overconfident. And that's kinda amusing, just on account of how I have no confidence, and it's all a front. Thus, when people take it upon themselves to make me more humble, all they're doing is further destroying my confidence which makes me need to put on a front even more. Ha, suckers, you're only making things worse. For everybody.

*sigh*

I really do wonder how I'll come across at Uni... Whether the confident exterior will even hold up under the constant pressure of people everywhere, ever changing social scenarios, and just general new-ness and stuff. I mean look, it didn't even stay constant at Liam's party - a couple of times, I just sat in contemplative silence while everybody else just carried on around me, and I started thinking about exactly how I must come across. I'm still undecided as to whether I like how that is. But ultimately, I know that it's the only real way to get out and meet new people, so....

Really, I need to change my approach to life in some way, because experience shows the past way didn't work. In the last four years, I've pulled twenty people. Of those, I knew (or knew of) twelve online beforehand. That leaves eight people, and I regret at least half of those. And the remaining four were mostly random anyway. My point, if I'm even making one here, is that I have the most piss-poor record with girls that I've ever seen (outside of my Idiot Army, anyway). Something needs to change, and since I can't change my face, I'll have to change my "methods" (if one can call them that).

Having said that, according to Jimbo I am now officially The House Stud, so perhaps the last year's worth of character development on my part has been enough to sort me out. I dunno... What I do know is that I'm going back to Uni on a sea of invulnerable mock-confidence, I'm going to be going out lots, be on a sports team, and have a house that I can invite people to. If that's not enough, maybe I'll come back to the Internet, tail between legs, and advertise for a girlfriend on LJ or something ;o)

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in my past 17 years i have pulled nobody bwahahah! piss poor records rock! be proud of yours! god damn >:)

Yeah, well I got to 17 without pulling anybody too, so there :o)

::ponders:: i'm not going to argue :P but like i say there's nowt wrong with being a retarded sexless wasack!

aye, nowt at all. there is nowt wrong with either. this i tell myself, for my own good, and that of others.

well said!

asexuality is the key to rachel existence.
heh.

yay for emotional uninvolvement.

ach! yet crumbles too easily.

all is simply a cosy resort against the truth. whatever that may be.

pah.

truth is. i do not leave that house. this is good.

oh. i chose to. was it really worth it?

easyworld supply me with too many quotes. i must cease :)

Being inside you Idiot Army I resent that the piss poor record with grrls could apply to me : p

Thank you for your co-operation.

You're one of the better ones, granted :o)

I find your discriminatory criteria for pulling power offensive.

I also find you offensive, but there's less you can do about that.

Don't worry DMZ, I put you at the head of the AA, in terms of sexual stuff. I don't think any of us can match you

You don't have to match me, just join in.

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