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If Columbus was wrong I'd drive straight off the edge
2012
unknownj
I'm seeing red. I've got a big fat fucking bone to pick with you my darling, in case you haven't heard I'm sick and tired of trying. I wish you would take my radio to bathe with you, plugged in and ready to fall.

Right.. Well, we have a vague idea of what I was up to on Friday (read: gay clubbing, don't ask). So all that remains is to go through yesterday... And what a day it was. First activity was going into Manchester to meet people. I met Liam (eliaalariel), up close and personal, and couldn't quite understand how he was upright. The guy is made of elastic, he really is - I've been practicing standing like he does, just because it would be one of the best things I could ever learn to do. He's like the Thunderbirds, only not lame ;o)

With Liam were Matt (hugmonkey) and Angus (goose_mcloose). Before I go off on another sycophantic rant, to be fair I should point out that Matt is really cool. But Angus... Jesus Christ... He has to be one of the funniest/coolest guys I have ever met. He and Liam are just.. well.. it's hard to really describe them, but I think "genius" would come pretty close... These are now my Gods of Abstract Comedy...

At some point, we all went to do a survey, but we got ID'd, and apparently we weren't old enough, so we stopped doing that. We went to the food court to get some lunch, and we tried to get David a waitress for his birthday, but she had a boyfriend. It's a shame, that would've been a cool present...

Then we met up with Frances (tax), who demanded COFFEE, because she NEEDS IT. Or something... She's totally hot, Ste is a very lucky guy (damn him). And also met Matt (corr7spond7nc7s) who f'ing rules. Damnit, everybody up there is so cool. Brighton sucks ;o) Then along came everybody from 'The House', and our party was complete... Anyhow, after Angus almost got run over by a tram, we got a bus back to Cheadle for David's party. Matt, Angus, Liam and myself kinda pissed off some guy... Let me explain.

The guy's name was Frederick, and he was brought up in a dimension without laughter and music. At the age of 17, he fell into a dimensional rip, which led to him falling into our universe, sustaining hefty blows to the head in the process. For years, he struggled to find his place in our world, but never managed to achieve the acceptance that his trendy outlook demanded. Consequently, he became bitter and twisted, and hated those who don't need acceptance.

Then he got on our bus, and took offence because we were singing. Well I'm sorry if being happy offends you, Frederick, but if you're too humourless to appreciate how cool Weird Al songs are (specifically the Star Wars parody ones), then you can put your mobile phone in the same place your attitude came from - your arse. Thank you.

Anyway, then we got to David's, and all was well with the world. At his, I met Sophie (stumpy_thedwarf, who apparently knows my beloved Jo, which is just a weird coincidence), Kate (snowyowlofdoom), and Vicky (whore). They rock too. Everybody rocks, grrr...

Let's see, highlights of the party... Charlie (cha5e) taking on Gaz (greendragon), and kinda winning... A lightning fast game of Strip Rock-Paper-Scissors with Ste, although we only managed to get topless before David stopped us. The shed. There is no story behind that, it's just a shed. Vicky taking on Ste and kinda winning... Vicky taking me on, and getting her arse kicked (and/or grabbed). We had burgers... Gaz tried to eat a wrapping-ribbon star type thing, and brought it back up again... Um.. stuff, y'know...

Then we got minibuses to 'The House', and from there most of us walked to Jillys. What with some people not getting in, there weren't all that many of us in there, but I still had a good time. They played Schism, and Man Overboard, and Buddy Holly, and Closer, and all was good. This time I explored the other rooms and stuff, and it was all cool. Walked back to Ste's with Charlie, Matt, Vicky, Kate and Paul (paul), getting Pizza on the way (and I had some, and it wasn't that bad...)

Then walked with Charlie, Andy, Liam, Matt, Paul, David, and Lisargh (pozest_ladybug) to David's student-type house. On the way, Lisa had a conversation with Andy about killing me. I was afraid. Very afraid. After we forced Charlie to show off for a while because he's so damned good, Liam and I retired to The Red Room. Just as we were getting off to sleep, I managed to scare him with talk of a certain soulless entity outside our room, watching us through the walls, waiting to kill us. He, in turn, started talking of her levitating, and having no pupils, and it all escalated from there.

The short version is that at 6am, we were still awake, still bouncing scary ideas off each others' imaginations, hurling ourselves deeper and deeper into psychosis. I still think that it was probably in the wardrobe.... That whole night further confirmed what I had already suspected - Liam is a f'ing GOD. He is unbound by convention, or gravity, and has a fantastic sense of humour, and an ability to talk to strangers that I wish I could develop. My goal is to be more like him.

And then the next day, we went into Manchester, I came home via First Class to Milton Keynes, followed by my father giving me a lift. Ho hum.... Would go into things more, but I've just started thinking about the expressionless demon, and how it's probably waiting in the dining room for me, and I'm the only person who is awake right now. I think I have to go - I hear a scratching at the door.......

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That scratching is probably me.. I have a very bad itch..

Ooh, you've got two arms, and you've got two legs, but can you swim?! CAN YOU?!!!

you think you're so great with your nose and mouth. but can you breathe underwater?
NO! freak!

You must think being warm-blooded is so cool and special, but you know what? IT ISN'T! It makes you crap! Try living in cold water, you wuss!


you make me SICK!
you bastard!

and so on, and so forth. it really needs to happen. t'would be magical.

Any minute now, my mates are gonna come rescue me, and then you'll be sorry!!

It would rock so much. Has to be done, and filmed, and sent to me :o)

I told you I was God. *laughs*
I'm very glad to have met you. And not fucked you. What we have is so much deeper. ;)

Deeper in every way, except rectally.

BTW, see description of Frederick - you shouldn't feel guilty any more. That guy was fucked from the start....

Next time I come visit, there will be no demon. I hope.

no...you aren't my daddy...
*sobs*

Frances... *hchhh*...*hchhh*...
I AM YOUR FATHER...

*chokes*

told ya she was hot dude :p

not like she will beleive anyone telling her that tho. and sorry for not really saying that much to you this time, ive been in a crappy mood all weekend really..

Ah, 'tis fine, you're entitled, what with work treating you like crap and all...

And hey, I got to beat you up, remember? ;o)

was nice to meet you :)

and yes, the comedy trio that is matt, liam and angus is endlessly strange, yet terrifyingly amusing :p

best alkaline trio song ever



O_O
and winamp just chose this moment to play it.

O_O


oi bitch
its VICKI
VICKI!!!
and no u did not kick my ass
u just infected me with the lurgee

i so could have made u my bitch

Ordinarily I would correct it, but since it's you.... :oP

And you were already my bitch. I totally own you, so shush, OR ELSE. :oP

or else what?
no-body "owns" me
and i'm no-bodies bitch
and no-body gets very jealous, he doesn't like to share

*yawn*

When you're done whining, go fetch me a drink, bitch.


*evil glare*

i.....you....but.....rah....

*shrug*

what would u like to drink my lord?

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