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I don't care if you really care
See, I'd kinda thought myself unshockable by the Internet, and humanity in general. The notion of people skullfucking, or inserting large spherical objects into their asses doesn't really bother me. I mean, it doesn't make me think "Boy, I gotta try that", but it doesn't really get to me or anything - I like to think that I'm open minded about stuff as much as possible. But perhaps the one thing that could get to me actually has, and that's the fact that humanity isn't as I believed it was. So, in traditional Jamie Style, I will now list all the people who are to blame for this, because I sure as Hell know it's not my fault.

For starters, I blame my parents, because they brought me up to believe that there was good in everyone, and that the world isn't an awful place. They brought me up to believe in Santa too, but at least they revealed the truth to me eventually on that one... And while I'm holding them responsible for stuff, I blame them for where I grew up. I mean really, how was I ever going to get a good sense of reality living where I do? And here's why...

Firstly, I don't know what it was about the year I was in at school, but it was just messed up. Obviously you always have clique type things at school, but we only really had about three. There were the popular people, the sort-of-popular people, and everybody else jostling around in their little social lives, brownian motion style. A few demographic groups who lacked representation in our year - people who liked good music, people who were gay, people of any race other than white, people who were interesting...

Seriously, the few people who might have been vaguely interesting were very much alone, and turned into outcasts who then became caricatures of themselves. There were no groups of metallers, or groups of lesbians, or people who dyed their hair, or anything really... The whole system was awful, because the area is socially stunted. There's nothing to do anywhere - no clubs, no convenient cinemas, nothing... I never once went on a date when at school, and part of that was because there would be nowhere to go. I couldn't invite anybody out somewhere because I'd first have to find a destination.

All of this managed to contribute to the illusion that perhaps the world didn't suck. Perhaps people weren't motivated by their own selfish desires, and that maybe the world was 'normal', in a kind of Waltons type way. I'm aware that if that were the case, it would be really boring, but still - it would be nice all the same. The next person I blame is Vicky - she managed to restore a lot of my faith in humanity, which shouldn't have happened since it's misplaced.

See, when I first met Vicky, I really didn't like her. I took one look at her - blonde, beautiful, nice figure, etc., and decided that she was obviously one of 'the popular crowd', and would therefore hate me. So I tried beating her to it, such is the extent to which school life messed me up. What you have to remember is that at school, all the popular people were just one big group (at least from where I was standing), and none of them liked me. A couple managed to tolerate me, but for the most part, I got shat upon from a great height. So I made the assumption that life was just going to be like that - pretty people, popular people, they'd always hate me.

So yeah, then I actually got to know Vicky, and we became best friends, and I suddenly realised that being attractive and popular doesn't necessarily mean that people will be complete pieces of shit. This was new information to me... But I've since kinda decided that it often does. Though she's one of the nicest people I've ever met, and is a great friend, it's kinda obvious that Vicky's an exception to some rule about how crap people are going to be... Maybe it's the feeling of power they get from being desired that makes them go out of their way to keep it by putting everyone else down.. I dunno.. Whatever it is, for the most part, attractive people are crap. There are, naturally, noteable exceptions, but they're few and far between...

I guess the point I'm trying to make here, laboured though it is, is that for a while there, I genuinely believed that humanity was nice on the whole, and that it was something I could kinda seek comfort in. Now I'm far less sure... Maybe I've just been lucky so far....

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there are a lot of nice people.

it's just that there are also a lot of not nice people.

You are statistically more likely to meet the mean people because the nice people are off being good and feeding the hungry and curing the sick.

but everyone has the potential for niceness. they just have to choose to use that potential.

I was lucky at school. If people didn't like me I didn't hear about it. I was always nice and polite to people. If anyone said anything to me like calling me a freak or something I laughed at them. It really threw them off and they were even more unnerved when i was nice at them all the time. It's more important to be a good person. Okay, so i may have annoyed a few people by not allowing them to copy my work. But that's because I think I am a good person and it's better for them in the long run.

Humanity is nice on the whole. Humanity is also very stupid on the whole.


You know, I completely disagree.
People are bastards to me all the time, but you have to keep your faith in humanity. On a whole, people have to be able to justify their own decisions to themselves, otherwise they wouldn't do them. In this way you can often dismiss nasty reactions on bad days, social conditioning and peers.

On some days I'd agree with you though.
I'll give you a big hug when you come up anyway.

people are both good and bad. i mean cummon, you see it yourself. its the expectation of things being how you want them that fuck up people. you just have to tune into reality. the reality is some days any random person may feel like taking a gun to the top story of their nearest office block you know? somedays they may feel like curing cancer. generalisations r for dreamers.

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