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Heh, I'm dumb... Something I did five months ago has just bitten me in the ass... That'll teach me to try and be clever without thinking, I guess :o\


Weekend soon........

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is this all computergeeky or is it actually emotional and so maybe i can help?
rach xxx

It's a cunning mixture of the two - on the one hand, there's the fact that I messed up a database ages ago and I don't know if I can fix it. And at the same time, there's a silly emotional thing going on too... So what I said has a kinda double meaning. But it's nothing overly bad (or easy to deal with), so.. I dunno..

I hate my brain sometimes. It thinks about the wrong things. If anybody in this world ever screwed me up, it was more than likely me....

I'm fine though - just overly angsty and crap. I'll deal with it...


But thanks :o)

hehe, yeah but we're alllll overly angsty and crap, it's why they love us... or something...

can you talk about it over lj?

rach xxx

Yeah... I guess...

It just gets summed up by the Everclear quote (I'm telling you, Art has a line for every single situation):

I close my eyes when I get too sad, I think thoughts that I know are bad...

Because that's the thing - for some reason, I punish myself constantly by always thinking the worst, then visualising it, then putting myself through it as though it's real just to see how I'd cope, then.. blah...

I mess with my head better than anybody can :o\


better than me? :P

and this scenario, does it involve various painful exes? or is it me? or someone random?

you = confusing

Perhaps... But only because I seem to try harder at it. I'm sure you could pull my mind apart if you tried, but you're nice, so you don't. Yet....

And it's not necessarily about people... More situations, I dunno.. And I'm well aware that I'm confusing - I confuse myself more often than not. I'd be lying if I said you're not a part of it, but there's no problem with you, and you've done nothing wrong, it's just everything in my head. Y'know, insecurities and emotions and all the crap that it would be great to be able to turn off every now and again, but I wouldn't want to live without it all for long. At least this way I know I'm alive.

:S ok... i guess... is there anything i can say or do to kinda stop it?

Not really - it's not you, it's me... I just need to stop thinking and lighten up, that's all... A Q-Tip to the brain might be what I need..... :o)

what actually are Q tips? i never worked that out? hmmm :P

(rachel realises her jade likes admissions are just too hideous and hides)

But you're a girl! You must know!

As I recall, it's a brand name for cotton buds (in the same way that Hoover is a brand name for vacuum cleaners). Y'know, those sticks with two cottony bits at the end. People use them for makeup stuff, and for cleaning their ears.

And trust me, that's not Jade-like. In order to be Jade-like, you'd have to add a bad guess to your question. Such as:

what akchully are Q tips? are they them fings you get in the snooker? oh my gawd, i'm so dumb, hahahahaha...

But, uh, I wouldn't recommend trying to emulate her :o)

hehe, i don't try and ohhh! i know what you meeean. and hang on, yes, i am a girl *frantically searches for words to turn this around :P* but hey, you knew what they were... weirdo :P

ok, so that sucked... i'm scared, alright!

Ah, yes, but see, just because I know what they are doesn't make me a girl. I have a massive amount of pointless general knowledge, it's just how I am. That's how come I can trick people into thinking I'm clever and giving me jobs :o)

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