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Mr Cool with a Hat
2012
unknownj
So thus starts a new day... I've been here an hour, and already I'm dreaming of getting home. It's not helped by the fact that I have a case of rheumatism in my right knee, which is making me feel sick and kinda unable to walk. Add to that the fact that I had a horrible dream last night which has left me feeling fucked in the head, and a picture quickly emerges of why today is not a good day...

Oh well, after an SMS rally with Rachel, I feel a lot better... I'm too dependent on other people when it comes to my mood, I think, but I guess it's better than being indifferent. This way I get to feel emotionally connected and stuff, which can't be a bad thing. Plus, half the time it's David that I'm bouncing off anyway, and he rocks, so it's not a problem :o)

Oddly, the only productive piece of information to come out of my survey last night (apart from the fact that none of you want me - thanks, remind me to kick y'all in the nuts sometime) is the fact that three people have said I look like Cary Elwes, which is weird with a capital WE... Especially since the three opinions were all given in different forms - one person said I look like the guy from The Princess Bride, one said the guy from Robin Hood: Men in Tights, and one said Cary Elwes. Naturally, all three are the same guy. And I was just sat there looking at that thinking 'I f'king wish'... Still.... :o)

Speaking of The Princess Bride, my damned downloaded copy is broken. I kinda thought it would be, since it was riddled with failed sectors and stuff when it was on my old PC (symptom of the fact that my hard disk kinda ate itself), but I had hoped that when I copied everything across, it'd be fine. Guess not. It's on my list of things to download when I get back to Uni, and ADSL...

Right now, I'm feeling kinda ambivalent towards the whole university thing... On the one hand, I can't wait to get back - with the exception of a couple of months at the beginning of this year (when in fairness, I wasn't over Jen), I've not been single at Uni in ages - the last time I was properly free to do as I pleased there, I was a very different person. In fact, even including those couple of months, I've spent less than five months in the last two years being single at Uni. I get the feeling that the next year could be fun, especially being on a sports team and all, and actually going to lectures (thus interacting with people). Plus, Shanu and I are on a mission :o)

And then again..... I dunno... I'm liking this summer. Okay, so in total, I've only spent like 12 hours with Rachel ever, but still, things are good. I'm happy with our 'situation', and it's really made this summer interesting. I'll be sorry to see the end of it all, when that comes, and I'm not especially looking forward to the summer being over from that point of view at all. But really, best thing is not to worry about it - while I tend to dwell on the past and present more than is good for me, I don't seem to give a fuck about the future. So I won't stress over it... :o)

Other Uni considerations are the fact that I won't be working 8:30-5:00 every day, nor will I be living with my parents or siblings... I'll be free of all that, living with friends again, with my own room, own computer, with a pub at either end of the road and another fifty or so within ten minutes walking distance... I'll be able to go clubbing, get pizza delivered, play darts with Jimbo... I'll be able to walk to the cinema, burger king, mcdonalds, supermarket, beach, any of those places in just five/ten minutes. I miss that living at home - no convenience in anything... Although, then again, the price I pay for convenience is that I have to live right in the middle of a thriving city, rather than the nice countryside....

Oh well... There's good sides and bad sides to the whole thing, and I won't let myself get too wound up thinking about it... I still have about seven and a half weeks of work to go, having done just four and a half...

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you do look like cary elwes (yes, i was the 1 of 3 that got the name right) stop wishing

yes i want you (didn't want to inflate your ego or get myself in trouble... more on the second part later)

relationships, or quasi-relationships... whatever they are, are usually great on a short term basis. i've found that the best ones i've had have been under some kind of time constraint (school is starting again, or someone is moving away, or joining the forces..) because you know you have limited time & cherish those moments more. everything will be ok. :0) trust me. if this plan of yours w/ shanu is anything like i think it is, you'll be fine ;o)

college is great! yay independance & lack of family nagging!

if you need to vent or just want someone to talk to, you know where to find me

Nah, Cary Elwes is like, all cool and stuff though :o)

(although there might be a fourth person who thought I did once, I forget whether she actually did or not...)

And my ego isn't that bad, deep down... In fact, it could be said that the worse I feel about myself, the more I think I rock, just to compensate. Who knows. And, uh, trouble..?

As for the relationships thing, yeah, I know... I just get the feeling that when it's finished, I'll still want more. But that's the way of the world, I guess - nobody ever got exactly what they wanted... 'Some things are meant to be, but not all of them are meant to be forever'

Or words to that effect. As for the plan with Shanu - I think we're just going to hit as many clubs as we can, drink a lot of alcohol, fail spectacularly to chat up a lot of girls, and just enjoy the year. Unless he has something better to do... :o)

And thanks for the offer - I'll keep it in mind...

you look like cary elwes. just take the compliment and say "as you wish". Damn it!

yeah, trouble... dave read the comments on one of my entries yesterday and gave me hell for it. he's so ensecure sometimes. if i was going to leave it, it wouldn't be for someone i've never met/lives a gazillion miles away (no offense). *sigh*

that's what i thought the plan was ;0)

As you wish :oP

As for Dave, I'm sure he has nothing to worry about - you clearly don't want me enough, so...... *sigh*

yay! now all i have to do is get you that cute little mask...

As for Dave, I'm sure he has nothing to worry about - you clearly don't want me enough, so...... *sigh*

seems to be you also clearly don't want me enough.... *sigh* we'll both just have to settle with overactive imaginations & journal conversations

You just want to cover my face up :o(

*weeps*

And at no point did I ever say that I don't want you :oP

no no no. not covering up the face. if you look like cary elwes, you have to complete the look by either having the mask or the stable boy outfit. hahahah

And at no point did I ever say that I don't want you :oP

touche'. i guess i'll have to make that trip to england afterall ;0)

Heh, I don't need the mask - towards the end, he didn't wear it...

"... I'm not left handed either"

Love it...

And quit toying with my emotions like that, you temptress :oP

hahahaha. ok then, no mask. :0)

who said anything about toying?? hahah.

seriously though, i was thinking about heading over england & such next summer for two weeks maybe. be a tourist somewhere other than my own city for once and finally get a passport :0)

Well, you know, if you need a place to stay.......

rockin. double rockin even. :0)

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