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In these plagued streets of pity you can buy anything
2012
unknownj
I was getting a guitar tab for Hi Ho Silver Lining by Jeff Beck earlier, because I wanted to learn the solo. Anybody familiar with the song will be amused at the lyrics it gave:
Flattering your beach suit baby,
They're waving at me
Now, for the last fifteen years I've been sure the actual lyrics were
Flies are in your pea soup baby,
they're waving at me
Puzzling, no? ;o) Anyhow, I couldn't find the tab for the solo, so I just had to figure it out myself. It wasn't hard.

I was gonna code a little "How well do you know me?" test on my site - a proper one, which would have all manner of cool things. But then I lost all motivation, and decided to sit here thinking horrible thoughts about all of you instead. None of you would pass my test anyway - I would use obscure ancient-history questions (like "What was my first girlfriend's middle name?", or "What was my first line in the school play I was in during Year 8?"), or mindless trivia (like "What is currently on top of my U2 - Beautiful Day CD" or "What is the length of my left foot, in furlongs?")

Instead, I have devised a shortcut. Everybody is now obliged to copy and paste the following into their journals:

<p>I know jack shit about <lj user="unknownj"> and so should you!</p>

It's for your own good, honest. That way, you can parade your ignorance and unoriginality, just like you already all do with online tests, including mine. I'm part of the system, part of the problem, and I'm screwing your credibility from every angle. The more you listen to me, the more ridiculous you look, and with every nonsense post of mine that you absorb, I'm harvesting your brain cells and using them for distributed processing. You are my drones, and you're now thinking for me so that I don't have to give a fuck.

That took a turn for the bizarre... If I could write a sinister plot twist involving a lust for power into my life, then I would. Instead, I have to be content with abusing everybody with confusion and inflicting as many random paranoia complexes onto my viewing public as I possibly can. Sleep tight....

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ion

(Anonymous)
hey man u dont know me but i heard you suck cock and was wondering if we could meet sometime?

Don't bother; he's not very good.

Ah, it's my favourite Kiwi.... Still love me, I see....

Already paranoid, don't need your help at all! Now I get why that guy said you were crazy... or... was that evil?

Your favourite cartoon is Pinky and the Brain? ... I thought so ! :)

Well I was fairly sure that I don't even watch it, but I'd not be so arrogant as to be 100% certain of that ;o)

Look in the mirror one day. I think you'll find that
Brick.
Jelly.
Cocaine.

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