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The Story
2012
unknownj
Ha, you asked for it. Actually, this story is rather mundane considering, but you all voted for it, so here we go...

The Story of How I Dumped my Girlfriend on Christmas Eve for her Best Friend

Okay, let's set the scene... It's December, in my first term of University, and I've not been with a girl in two months. Foolishly, I trust my love-life to two of my housemates, let's call them Matilda and Rodent. In this piece, all names have been changed to protect the innocent (or otherwise), apart from Jimbo and Vicky.... Now, Matilda, Rodent, Ermintrude and me were all good friends. Ermintrude had also trusted her love-life to those two... Bear in mind, the four of us also lived together.

Now, despite the fact that Matilda had had a crush on me for two months, she decided to make the job easier on herself and just set me up with Ermintrude, despite the fact that we didn't get along all that well. Which wasn't the smartest move. But anyhow, me and Ermintrude had been spending more time together, so it wasn't that bad. We were just beginning to explore the idea of being more than friends, when Matilda and Rodent screwed it up, as follows...

They decided that me and Ermintrude weren't "getting it on fast enough", so they wanted to jump-start it. This involved taking me aside and telling me Ermintrude fancied me. Then taking Ermintrude aside and telling her that I fancied her. Then putting us in a room together, saying "You both know you fancy each other, do something". Never has there been a more awkward moment in my life, I don't think - it was just really rather bad.

Anyhow, we both decided to forget all about it for a while, since any mood or atmosphere or chemistry had effectively been destroyed. When we did finally get together, it was still really awkward, and she was very non-commital. Several times I suggested that we be a proper couple, boyfriend and girlfriend, and every time she knocked me back, preferring to stay as "Friends who do stuff", or something.

At one point, we spoke about Matilda. Ermintrude told me that she fancied me, and that she had done for ages. This came as something of a surprise... It was said in the context of "So we shouldn't be too lovey dovey when she's around in case it upsets her", which was fair enough. At some point she asked me if I could ever see myself with Matilda, to which I responded "Yes" (we weren't really officially going out, I had no reason to lie or anything). She told me that that was good, and that Matilda would be a really good choice for me and that we'd be good together. Weird, but there we go....

Anyway, after a couple of weeks in that sort-of-together state, the Christmas break came, and we all went to our respective homes. Ermintrude and I spoke a little via SMS and the Internet, but not much. As the first week of holiday went on, she seemed to become more and more distant, so I assumed our little "thing" was pretty much over. Then, on December 23rd, I get a phone call from a drunk Matilda. She convinced me that the thing with Ermintrude was going nowhere, that Ermintrude would never really be a proper girlfriend, and that I'd be better off with her. Forgetting that I have no chemistry or attraction to Matilda, I figured "Sure, that makes sense, I get on well with her"... After all, she has a nice telephone voice, so she must be a good choice of girlfriend, right..?

And anyway, me and Ermintrude weren't serious, she didn't even categorise it as us going out, we were just friends. And she'd already said that she thought it'd be good if me and Matilda got together. So I went to talk to her. The MSN conversation went thus:
Jim says:
In that we're not going out, and that you approve of her and stuff, you'd not be too pissed if I got together with Matilda, would you? Or would you?

Ermintrude says:
James. I wanted to ask you out tonight. I miss you so much. I've been thinking about you so much. I knew something like this would happen.
I now quote my LiveJournal from that night:
Shit. Shit shit shit shit shit. I left things with Matilda by pretty much saying that I had a lot of thinking to do. And that was before I knew that Ermintrude genuinely wants us to be together properly. Now? Well, I don't have a clue. I mean shit, I'm not used to such situations - I never get more than one girl liking me at once, and suddenly I get two, best friends, who both like me, and both announce how strongly they like me on the same night. I have a LOT of thinking to do - don't expect me to be around much in the next little while. Think. Think. Think.
The two of them sent me off to bed that night to think things over, and to get back to them the next day with my decision. How nice of them, no pressure or anything.......

So we get to the next day, and I figured that I had already told Matilda I'd stop seeing Ermintrude and get together with her, and I couldn't go back on that. Plus, I was better friends with her than with Ermintrude, so it seemed to make sense that we'd be more compatible. Thus, as the next day (December 24th) dawns (or, rather, in the afternoon), I get a call from Ermintrude asking my decision, and I tell her. Thus, she is dumped on Christmas Eve. But the story doesn't end there...

So, the next time I'd be seeing Matilda was at our university house's New Years Party.... So we arrive at December 30th, and I travel down to the flat to get ready for the party. Matilda was there, and on seeing her, it was just obvious that we didn't really have any chemistry or anything, and that it just wasn't going to work. So I told her that it was over, there and then. I explained that it wouldn't be at all fair to Ermintrude in light of everything, and that it just wasn't going to work. She ran off crying, and one of her friends came and guilt tripped me into changing my mind. So I told her we could give it a try just to see, and that was that.

The next day comes around, and I decide yet again that it's just never going to work, that I don't really want her, and that the whole thing is a big mistake. But I can't tell her that, given that I only just got back together with her. So instead, I do the typical guy thing and just don't pay much attention to her. Anyhow, I now hand you over to my LiveJournal entry from the time, which explains it best....


I woke up at about 2pm (pretty darn good), and Matilda and her friend went into Brighton. After a shower and stuff, I then went into Brighton on a quest for food. I ended up at Pizza Hut, where I had a medium The Edge with my usual toppings. It was rather larger than I expected, so I brought some home. Right now, I dunno if it's still in the fridge or not - we had a good few people in tonight. Anyhow, I then went back to the flat...

So, back at the flat, Jimbo and his mates were there. So Jimbo and I went down to East Slope bar to play some pool, but it was closed, so we then walked back to the flat, and then back down again about ten minutes later, when it was finally open. I played a crap first game against him, although managed to come back at the end so that we each had one ball. He then potted his, plus the black, and thus ended my pool playing for the evening. I then had a few Malibus and Coke (see, I know the correct grammatical form for it - groovy, eh?) His mates arrived at that point and played many games of pool, which was nice to watch. Then I got a call from Vicky, telling me that she had arrived, with friends, so Jimbo and I went back to the flat.

After seeing Vicky, we then went back down to the pub, for more alcohol, and more pool (although I didn't play). This was good fun and stuff. We went back not long after though, and I did something silly; I drank too much. Oops. See, I normally fill my (large) glass about half full of Malibu, and half full of coke, and then drink it leisurely. However, Matilda dared me to down it in one, so I did. But her friend didn't see. So I had to down another all in one go. This was not good. When you judge the rest of the night, bear these things in mind...

It was then that Vicky's other friends arrived. I won't pretend that I can remember all their names - the only important one among them (as far as the rest of the night goes) was Suzanne. There's tons of others whose names I did once know, but have since forgotten. Oh, let me just dwell on the Suzanne subject for a minute - she came into the room, and my head almost dropped off my shoulders. She's tall, slim, blonde, has the most pretty nose, and dark brown eyes that are almost black, and are just so beautiful to look at. She's the sort of girl you just dream about being introduced to someday...

*sigh*

Um, anyway, on with the show. So, they all arrived. The sequence of events from here on is rather sketchy - my memory has been done in by that malibu... However, Matilda got pissed off at me repeatedly for not being like a proper couple. Well I'm sorry, but we've already established, I'm not comfortable with the whole situation. It ended up with her going down to East Slope bar to see Brett, a guy she's fancied for about a year, and is basically nuts about. She deliberately sat next to him, so that when Jimbo and I arrived, I'd be pissed off. I wasn't. Not meaning to be callous, but last night when I decided that it wasn't going to happen, I came to terms with that. I was actually over her, yet still with her at the same time. Complex...

So anyhow, we then had a talk, which ended with us agreeing that yes, it was too awkward, we should just be friends instead. Which is the choice I ought to have made earlier, technically, although it wouldn't have been possible then. It actually needed to wait until now before it could really be made. So anyhow, we agreed this, and I was very happy with the state of affairs presented to me. I was once more young, free and single, and it was New Year's Eve - all good stuff, really. I then went back to the flat with Jimbo for a bit...

We then decided that hey, we liked East Slope Bar, we wanted to go back. We convinced Fran and Suzanne to go down there with us - Jimbo transporting Suzanne on his back. Moaning all the way down, he was being a bit of a wuss, so eventually I had to walk next to him and have Suzanne lean on me so that Jimbo didn't collapse. Near the bottom he goes "Oh you're so heavy!", and I said "Oh, she is not, don't be such an asshole", and she said to me "Yea, he's being horrible, but you're much nicer, I like you" in that drunken way that people say such things. But heck, I was drunk too, we all were... Cool, I think to myself - I like it when they flirt, gives me the impression that I'm in with a chance somewhere there for a few brief minutes...

So, we get to the bar. This is about 10:30, only 15 minutes after I broke up with Matilda. After Suzanne got off Jimbo's back, she was kinda draped all over me - we were all mightily pissed, so that explains why. I offered to buy her a drink, for which Matilda's friend almost killed me, since Matilda was just next to us. Anyhow, sod them, I think, so I buy Suzanne a Smirnoff Ice, and myself a Coke (I didn't want any more alcohol). She asked what I was having, I told her a coke, and she asked if we could swap - I don't think she wanted any more alcohol either. Matilda's friend (let's call her Scrud) then stole Suzanne away, while I briefly asked Matilda if she was OK. She said she was. I went over to the table where Jimbo and Fran, and Scrud and Suzanne were sat. Scrud was busy telling Suzanne about my situation, thus ruining any chance I might have had. Nuts to her...

Anyhow, Scrud started having a go at me for doing "this" to Matilda - all I'd done was bought a pretty girl a drink, and loaned her my coat because she was cold, and suddenly apparently I was cheating on a girlfriend who had already broken up with me. Yea right. Timing might have been a bit off, but heck, my timing was never good. I turned to Scrud, politely said "Shut your mouth", and then proceeded to kiss Suzanne full-on right there and then, with Scrud sat there watching. Woo-fucking-hoo. This is a girl I had thought was totally amazing from the first second I saw her, and I'm actually kissing her. And, I have to say, when I say that "I kissed her", what I really mean is that she kissed me, and I just kissed back. It was entirely initiated by her. YES!! SUCCESS!! :o) Anyhow, so I'm there, kissing the most beautiful girl ever, pretty darned cool, and Scrud storms off in a huff. Good. Me and Suzanne then talk some more, and start kissing again. I break off on having my arm politely thumped by Jimbo, who wants to know what the fuck I'm doing, because he thinks I'm still with Matilda. I inform him that Matilda and I had broken up. Suzanne was less than convinced by this, and moved away and sat with Fran, while I had a talk with Jimbo about the whole thing. Eventually, we convince Suzanne that no, she's not messing with things in the flat, it's really OK, I'm not with Matilda. More kissing follows. Damn, this is so cool. We then go to leave to go back to the flat, but she needs the lav. So we go back into the bar, and have to walk past Matilda's table, with her and me arm in arm, very close. That was bad, I have to say. Mind you, Matilda was trying to piss me off by being with Brett, and subsequently went to his house to try to seduce him (and failed), so it's not like I can be in any way held as being solely to blame. Anyhow, we then went back to the flat - I gave her a piggy back the whole way up from the bar (which is at the bottom of the car park (on a big hill), for those who know where I am), to our flat (right at the top). I didn't complain like Jimbo. I rule. And all this without my coat on, because I didn't want her getting drenched.


So yeah, the rest of the story is pretty simple - nothing further happened between the two of us. But that's how it went, anyway, according to how I told it at 5am on New Years Day, just shortly after the event. So yeah, there's a bit more history to it all, but it's mostly boring. Suffice it to say, that pretty much concludes the story of how I broke up with my girlfriend on Christmas Eve to go out with her best friend, who I broke up with on New Years Eve only to pull a random stranger fifteen minutes later. Judge me, I dare you ;o)

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Ah fuck you. I'm a bigger bastard, and you know it. In fact, you're the only person here who DOES, as I deleted my bloody rant. You're still a guilty bastard tho. ;-)

I have it saved, you know... ;o)

Don't worry - I wouldn't ever actually use it for anything - it's merely for reference... When you said you were going to delete it, I saved it in case I ever wanted to re-read it. Something in my doesn't like the idea of an emotional piece of writing being destroyed forever...

Perhaps a little *too* emotional though. I seem to remember it being pretty crap. I'll type it all up properly at some point. Perhaps tonight, actually. I'm THAT bored

I love the name changes :)

I was gonna change them to boy's names to freak people out, but couldn't be bothered :o)

*stares*

I'm not even going to try reading that... the names confused the fuck out of me.

Is there anything in there I don't know?
I'm lazy :)

Nah, it's more or less the story as you know it.... :o)

At a club a few weeks ago i randomly kissed some guy. Didnt even get his name. It was a nice kiss too :) Although i didnt have any boyfriend at the time so i could do whatever the hell i wanted!

Well so could I in the story above - I was quite clearly single :o)

Yes....very true! hehehe. Technically we are all single until we are married anyway. kinda.

That's not how I see it, but okay...... :o)

good story - those things do happen...and are tricky buggars to figure out...but seems like you faired quite well...by the by - i liked your age quiz thing...it provided a good laugh - and for that i thank you - have a lovely evening ~ Lexy

Thanks, you too :o)

(Deleted comment)

Re: Interesting Story

Try telling that to the people involved - I wasn't very popular for a while after that :o)

Now that had to be fun... I won't judge you.. I'll just sigh in exasperation because something like that has happened to me as well.. lol.
Take care an be safe.
Steve H

Thanks for the story. Life can be so damn confusing at times ;)

Judgement

(Anonymous)
Why Lifehouse? Why? Dirty bastard.

Good story, sir. Where are you at school, by the by?
~Andrea

Because they're fantastic, and one of my favourite bands ever :o)

As for school - The University of Sussex, in Brighton.

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