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Deleted Post
2012
unknownj
It's a very sad day for my journal. I have deleted a post. I've done it before, but never before has it felt like censorship. However, unlike my father may suspect, his comment had no effect on that. I call 'em as I see them, and as such, I feel perfectly justified in saying what I did. This journal is for all my most intimate thoughts and ponderings, and I can't go around watching what I say for fear of fucking up. The whole point is that its what I think at the time, not what I look back on later and assess objectively.

However, I have deleted it. Events this evening have rendered the information contained in it inaccurate, and while the above paragraph would appear to suggest that such is all part of my journal, I have decided to use my editorial powers. For starters, I was talking out of my big fat arse when I wrote the deleted post, and for another, it was so wrong... I'm not going into details about what went on with Harry this evening (although the fact that I'm updating at 5 freaking AM should at least suggest that something has happened), but it has certainly given me a different outlook. Unfortunately, it looks like just being an Alex-style fling, resulting in being friends again afterwards. Oh well, it's probably for the best, since I live with her and all... More on this subject later, I now need sleep.

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I don't know if you need to talk to anyone, but if you do ...

*manly hugs*

James,

I have no problem with your statement "I call 'em as I see them". Good! I agree that it is what the journal is all about. In fact I do the same (at least when I reply to you, my own journal is still a bit superficial). That is why I responded in the way I did. I do feel privileged to be able to get an insight into what you are thinking (remember my jnl reference to you being open?). But if you say something that bothers me (or anyone) I/they should be able to respond candidly. My reaction was more than "Oh, you are being a shit" - nothing is ever that simple. But I was concerned over what appeared to be a lack of thought with one outcome being you 'using' someone else. End result would almost certainly have been 2 people hurt, possibly more. And don't forget that your analyst is now not just down the road.

Damn, what a heavy post....

Anyway I will echo Scott's offer - if you want to talk...... but I do realise that fathers are often not the best/easiest of people to talk with. After all they're likely to tell you that they know what you are going through and that they did that when they were young, etc. Anyway the offer is there.

Slightly less heavy - made that phone call yet????

I do hope that things work out OK

James, do you think I can talk your dad into adopting me? ;-)

The thing you refer to was, in fact, being misinterpretted by you, mum, and everybody else. On reading it again, I decided that I could forgive you for misconstruing what I said. When I said "She's not....", I didn't mean looks-wise, I meant with regard to my depth of feeling.

Anyhow, it's all worked out for the best now, so... :o)

Becca

(Anonymous)
What, WHAT????? Why must you always do this? also I am on the other end of a phone, and well versed in what to say...speak to you soon, Im out of college now until 9am Monday, so freeeeeeeeee.
take care, Becca %-/

Becca again...

(Anonymous)
Also feel that AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Would be right for the time as to how i feel without any communtication from you.

which would explain your unelaborate SMS of this morning, right *everything now falls into place* shall talk about this later or something, hmmm *thoughts*

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