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So anyway...
2012
unknownj
Right now I just don't know about things any more... I feel like I'm on a knife edge, and on each side is each direction my life can go in. On the one hand, I could carry on exactly as I've been going thus far - I've not done a bad job as such, over the past 18 months I've done quite well for myself really, and it's been entirely possible to do that by just being me. Then again, on the other hand, I can feel myself being pulled in another direction completely, and I'm not sure if it's where I want to go.

In this other direction are people who are fun to be around. I get on well with them. I have a laugh with them. They're hot. However, some of them have actually been known to say that you can get things from dance music that you just can't get from rock music. I mean really, are these my people?

On the other hand, on some levels I agree with them. Hell, I enjoy dancing to dance music, I'm getting not entirely bad at it. But anyway, yeah, the point is, I could so do that... Go out to nice bars, go dance clubbing afterwards and stuff. I'd be so easy to just slide into that social group, they all seem to know me, I know them, we get on well....

For the first time in a long while, I don't know where my life is going....

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life isbalancing on the knife edge you know. and sometimes its a really job just to stay there. i found that since i have a pretty diverse personality, i have different groups of friends. i used to think that i changed myself when i was around them (fisherman, musician, your normal guy, glodbetrotter, the thoughtful side of me comes out in LJ etc.....) but thats bull: its just the different sides of my personality. sometimes i feel i'm getting streched between all these people. but if i went off in either direction i'd be loosing something, and i dont want that. there is just noone who shares all my interests. they are way more narrow minded if i can say that. thats why i can play "murder on the dancefloor" back to back with "bad boy boogie".....and somehow i think you are quite like me in that way.....

Yeah, I guess that's how it is with me too right now - with some friends, I tend to enjoy going to punk/metal clubs and generally being alternative and stuff. Then with my new friends, it's more a case of going to mainstream dance clubs, drinking beer, fitting in more, although I have no problem with it. I just feel like at some point I'm going to have to make a choice between these groups of friends - not about who my friends actually are, that'll stay as it is, but just which one I'm going to be a bigger part of. At this point, while I can see myself remaining in all those groups, I just think that at some point one of them will take up more of my time, and I'll tend towards that group. Only, right now, I have no idea which it'll be...

*goes off to listen to Duran Duran back to back with Smashing Pumpkins*

with me its been this way (having a foot inside several social circles) since i started high school. i hasnt really changed. i just seem to get along with a lot of different people (like i tried having a bunch of them at the same party once, it did not work at all hehe).....

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