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Oh sweet lord is that a good site... And, with no further ado - my old website from early 2000 (minus dead links). Spot the difference between me then and now:

Well, I've put it all back together again. And I must say, it seems to have worked. Damn, I'm good.

Anyhow, you're probably wondering what I'm on about. In case you hadn't noticed (I can't say many of the people who visit this place are especially observant), I've redesigned the whole thing. And I think it's neato.

Well, as with any good web page (and with most bad ones too, but we shan't dwell on that), you have to have your friends listed on there, if for no other reason than to prove from time to time that you have some... This is something that you can find here.

On the subject of friends, I've got some of those.... However, specifically, I have one of those who also has his own (small) site. Well, two actually. And I don't know which he wants to use most of the time, so I guess I shall have to provide links to both. The first is here, and the second is here. They both are kinda FrontPage-like, but if you ignore that, it's not so bad.

Right... Well anyhow, this is my page. It's nothing special, as a quick glance around will demonstrate, but it's not bad... As you can see if you look to your left, there is a picture of me here. Uncharacteristically, it's not a large or obvious picture. Unlike everything else I do, I'm trying not to turn this page into a big ego trip (regardless of how difficult that actually is).

If the pictures alone aren't enough for you (and they shouldn't be - there is more to me than just the ears), then the following description may be better - provided by some people I've met along my life (usually in the context of me intentionally annoying them):
I would estimate the majority of people recognise James for what he really is:
"A tedious, boring ponce". Well thank God for people like him.. Without his type to take the moral high ground, what would become of our society? I shudder to think...

Yea, so do I

This kid has a God complex or something. Looks like he thinks he knows everything. I'm here to prove him wrong
He failed to do so

You sir, are a fool. You are an arrogant, stupid fool, and you'll get what's coming to you
This person wasn't ever heard from again. Nothing to do with me, I'm sure.....
To be perfectly honest, it's hard to tell whether these people are insulting me, or praising me... I'm going to go for the former being correct, and therefore provide you with a different description. This is how I describe myself, without giving away too much information to those among you who mean me immediate and lethal harm...
I'm 18, male (well duh), and in the general vicinity of Oxford, in the UK. I'm currently studying (or not) for A-Levels in Biology, Chemistry, Maths and Further Maths. Given that I'm aiming for four grade A's, it looks certain that next year I'll be going to the University of Sussex to study Mathematics and Artificial Intelligence, since they only require grades BBC.

As far as I can tell (which isn't necessarily too well), I have a relatively full complement of friends (from my point of view) - although in some cases I often wish I didn't (Michael Mullen, this means you :o). When I'm not with my friends, I'm on the Internet. This makes up about 80% of what I do - for some reason going places with my friends holds very little appeal. In fact, I have no desire to spend time with some of them outside school - if you knew them, you'd know why (Michael Mullen again - drinking other peoples' drinks in pubs and then almost getting into fights... Grrr)

When on the Internet, you can usually locate me using ICQ - my number is, was and forever shall be 6363633. While not sitting idly online (which makes up most of my time evenings and weekends), I'm herding morons in gaming newsgroups, and reigning over the smart people (under the name "The Unknown James"). I am also a member (and current Commander in Chief) of a group called the "Adjective Army" (often referred to as "Adjective A$$holes") - we do things like invading newsgroups and flooding them with nonsense, before running off and leaving them with a "WTF?!?" expression on their faces (which is referred to as Adjectivization). Alternatively, you might (rarely) find me playing games such as Half Life online (in which my nickname is UnknownJ). If you feel the need to e-mail me, you can do so using my home address, or using my proper (and most used) address
That ought to be enough to keep you going.... Recently, lots of people seem to be expressing some vague interest in my religion. Originally that was just on the Internet, and then Matthew very kindly (be aware of sarcasm in that) decided to go around telling everybody about it, so I guess I ought to explain it all. Click here for my own personal description of it. In addition to all this, my best friend Brian recently described me thusly:
James pretends to be God, but he's not. He's really just a helper-angel. Yea, that's right. He waxes God's halo. All the while, of course, he keeps up that big macho troll act, but he's really just the Butler of Heaven. Think about it. He's English, and his name is James. What more do you need? "At what time will Allah be here, James?" "Did you take out the garbage, James?" "Has Mary returned from appearing in a wine glass in Peru yet, James?" "James, the cat had another accident!" "James, pick up Jesus from Soccer practice." But it doesn't really matter... He's scheduled to be deported on the 26th because Heaven's budget cuts are making them use an illegal immigrant who'll work for $1.50 an hour.
Well... There you go.

Funny lad that I once was... Or, alternatively, here's the really old one, from when I was but 16 years old:

James's Page

Well, it had to happen some time, and it just did. All the 30 day evaluation periods on the HTML editors I was using expired at once. Shouldn't have installed 5 at once, but I wanted different aspects of them all... Oh well. Back to standard HTML in Notepad... Great. Anyhow this, as you may have noticed, is my completely gratuitous page devoted to myself. There won't be many pictures, or for that matter much of anything, because I don't really remember much of how to do that stuff... Anyway, I'll do my best, and muddle through all the crap to try and put my side of the story across...

So who are you?
I'm, um, erm, well... Hang on, this Q & A style page just isn't going to work, I don't know most of the answers to the stuff I'm writing. I'd try writing spontaneously if I thought I could, but that would just be a disaster too... I'll just see how it goes...
As you can probably see here, this is my picture. Behind me you will see one of my friends, who didn't want to be identified. I have to abide by his wishes, or Oliver will do something nasty to me probably... A few facts about me, in case you didn't bother deciphering my Geek Code (or you don't have a copy of mine... Many people don't you know...):

I'm 16
I'm male (those people who haven't already worked that out can go to hell)
I'm about 6' high
I'm about 9 stone (yup, I have to fight the breeze)
I have gray hair (can't see it in the picture... Dyed it then)
My hair is usually brushed, but when the picture was taken I'd just come back from surfing and I'd not had the time (it's the truth!)... My hobbies include Surfing (as I said...), Gaming, Coding, Going on the net and sleeping. I'm still at high school, and at the time of writing I'm taking my exams, so DON'T BUG ME!!!! :o). I can't think of much else to say, so I'll leave you with a few words of caution for guys like myself (and by that I mean people with no social life, who go on the computer all the time...)

The con of chat rooms
Spending as much time on IRC and ICQ as I do, I've found out some rather disturbing things. For one, there are a lot of sick wierdos out there, and I don't like that... Secondly, I've noticed that you see these sorts of messages a lot:
[17:30] *** Bob21 Joins #Chat ***

[17:31] Bob21: I'm M/17/UK and I want to chat to some sexy girls

later on...

[19:31] Bob21: I'm M/17/UK and I want to chat to some girls

later still...

[22:31] Bob21: I'm M/17/UK and I'll chat with anyone...

The point is, that while there are hundreds of guys in chat rooms, all the good looking girls are out somewhere partying and whathaveyou... That's why I don't use IRC any more...

This page was written by James Webley. The HTML skills displayed here were a result of James Bell's constant whining about me not being able to use real HTML... As a result I learned it. If it were not for him, you would not have been subjected to this page and it's contents. Blame him.

It's just so weird to think of myself as a 16 year old now..... I mean, that was before Karen, before anything... I'd never had a girlfriend, I was still doing my GCSEs, and was the most innocent guy imaginable... What the Hell happened? ;o)


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