Previous Entry Share Next Entry
Merry Christmas, from the Empire of Meow
2012
unknownj
Scrooge has come to AFK-MN, and has posted a load of crap. In case it amuses anybody here.........
Deer Senta,
I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a good boy all yeer.
YeR FReND,
BiLLy

Dear Billy,
Nice spelling, you little moron. You're on your way to a challenging career in lawn care. How 'bout I send you a $%&#ing book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger, at least HE can spell!
Santa
Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody!
Love,
Sarah

Dear Sarah,
Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they? Get a job.
Santa
Dear Santa,
I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do.
Love,
Teddy

Dear Teddy,
What, like your dad's going to quit banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane, son? Your daddy's a man-whore. Let me get you some nice Legos instead.
Santa
Dear Santa,
I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your reindeer outside the backdoor.
Love,
Susan

Dear Susan,
Milk gives me the shits and carrots make the deer fart in my face. You want to kiss my ass? Leave me a bottle of scotch and some Red Man.
Santa
Dear Santa,
What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you making toys?
Your friend,
Thomas

Dear Thomas,
All toys get made in China. I have a condo in Vegas, Where I spend most my time squeezing cocktail waitresses asses, and losing money at the craps table. P.S. You are not my friend. You are a greedy little crumb snatcher.
Santa
Dear Santa,
Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're awake,like in the song?
Love,
Jessica

Dear Jessica,
Not only that, but I watch when you pee too
Santa
Dear Santa,
I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE PLEASE could I have one?
Timmy

Timmy,
That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap don't work up here. You're getting a sweater again.
Santa
Dearest Santa,
We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home?
Love,
Marky

Mark,
Firstly, stop calling yourself "Marky," that's why you're getting your ass whipped at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a government-subsidized ghetto apartment . Third, I get inside your pad just like all the burglars do, through your bedroom window.
Sweet Dreams,
Santa

  • 1
Very George Carlin like :-)

  • 1
?

Log in

No account? Create an account