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Still thinking...
2012
unknownj
At some point over the last few days, I had some sort of "experience" (not sure what exactly) that's set me off on one... If you'll just excuse me, I'm sure I'll be back to my normal self soon enough...

You know when you're little, you watch TV, you absorb what you perceive to be the "grown up" way to live your life, but none of it applies. Like, you know, I'd watch people going on dates and stuff on TV, and I'd think "Well that's not possible". Ah the horrors of growing up in a small village. Even if I'd had a conventional girlfriend back in those days, there'd be nowt to do or anything.

So I lived in this world where I knew how things were meant to go, I just didn't experience them. So I just decided to wait around until the world was more accomodating towards the image of it I'd built. Or something. Anyhow, right now, I'm in a thinking mood, not a writing mood, so I'll go for a wander. Perhaps down to the sea... Back shortly, I expect...

*wanders off*

*puts on shoes without tying them up*

*leaves*

...

Right, I'm back... The moon was out, so I admired the way the light reflected on the water for ages. It's funny, most nights of the week, Brighton is pretty busy at night, but tonight, I only saw a few people on the streets... There were quite a few student types on the beach, but it's to be expected I guess... Helped me think lots.

So yes, I lived in this world without cafes, without pubs, without clubs, without any of the things that I associated with living. Last year wasn't much better - the Uni campus was kinda specialised towards certain things, and didn't match up with how the world was meant to be for me... I spent my entire childhood more or less working out my place in the world, only to find that the world didn't work how it was meant to.

But now I'm here... Right in the middle of the city. At the end of my road is a pub. Five minutes' walk away is a really nice cafe, just a little further than that is a Rock/Metal nightclub, equal distance away is a student pub where they play decent rock music... Dominos Pizza is just down the road, the station is just up the road, there are more nice bars and good clubs within walking distance than I will ever have time to visit.

Suddenly I'm living in this world that I've prepared myself for all my life. I'm really in my element, and it gives me such freedom to be exactly the person I want to be. With all this sudden freedom to do everything I've always wanted, it'd be easy to lose one's head. I shall try not to. I just want to enjoy what I've waited 20 years for.....

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