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Right... well....
2012
unknownj
OK, I'm feeling a little better. Last night I took a few minutes (read an hour) to write about the whole thing in my real journal. It's the first time in about 10 months I've written in it (I only ever write once in a while anyway). Anyway, it was basically just a big rant about emotions, safety, that sort of thing. All very boring.

However, while I was doing it, I stumbled across some things I didn't realise I had. For starters, on the Sunday after Alex went home (yes, that weekend), I actually wrote down my feelings on the whole matter. Because back then, having listened to Bri way too much, I thought what she and I had done was rather wrong. So I wrote out exactly how I felt. It was very strange reading that now, knowing exactly how it all turned out. What was amusing was my admission early on that, since I initiated the whole thing, everything that happened thereafter was entirely my own fault... Ho hum....

I also stumbled on something I wrote after Ireland. It was basically a really detailed account of the first 6 hours I spent with her. No chance am I going into what that says - suffice it to say, things moved somewhat quickly. And no, David, I'm not dwelling. I had just forgotten so much of that, and it's rather nice to be reminded of a time when a girl really did want me... Ho hum... Off to work now.

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I understand this is obviously highly personal but I would like to say that I am here for you mate. Should you need a talk, or for me to listen or whatever.

I also write important events/feelings down and put them in a big shoebox in the bottom of the cupboard.

A few weeks ago I found one I had from school (about 6 years of writings and stuff). It was very weird reading about how I felt then and realising how futile I was in those days.

But, like I said, you know where I am should you need it. You have better friends then me, though. :o)

Here's an opinion you'll not give a damn about. Anyway, I'd just like to say that it can be nice to dwell sometimes. If one cannot dwell and be nostalgic about the good moments in life, what does one really have?

I'll freely admit that I have feelings for all the people I have loved in my life. Some have developed into feelings of friendship. Some are just lesser versions of the love I once felt for them. When I say I want to talk to Cecilie about Sigrun, I really mean it. But I don't think I will, because I know that when I meet Cecilie, I feel for her. Love. I still feel for her - she dumped me 2 and a half years ago, I was gutted, destroyed and devastated. And I still feel for her.

The same with Ingeborg, who has grown into an even more beautiful girl. But that's not as much love as lust. But then again, I cannot imagine any straight guy not desiring her. :-)

Etc etc...

Dwelling is nice sometimes. Don't be afraid to do it when you dwell on the good moments of life.

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