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Putting it all back together
2012
unknownj
Shards of sanity everywhere right now, like a broken mirror, each one reflecting something different, even when you put them all in the right places. But it can still be done, and it is being done.

Sometimes I get my head into such a mess, and do things that will only mess it up more, for reasons I can't fathom. And it's funny, but I know many people who will read that and think they know what I'm talking about there, what it is I'm doing to screw myself up, and they'd be wrong. Anybody who thinks what that means clearly doesn't know what's going on in my head right now, and should just give up.

So, I'm sorting myself out. Proof that this is at least going on is given by the fact that I started this off with some obscure attempt at a metaphor - 24 hours ago, I wasn't doing that. Taking photos is helping too. At 5am, I was out in the woods again - hunting wabbits ;o)

They're actually rather deaf for creatures with such big ears. I could sneak up on them easily by approaching from behind a tree - but as soon as they saw me, from any distance, they'd run away. Incredibly timid creatures... I got perhaps one shot of a retreating bunny rabbit from a long distance, but that's all. Not that I was too bothered by that fact - I saw them all there, I didn't need a photo of it. I saw so many rabbits out, which was good - saw a good many squirrels too, which is always really cool. I see them every day, and when I was in New York I saw hundreds of the things - you'd think I'd be bored of them. But I never am - they're just too cute :o)

Finished another roll out there - it was a nice view down to the sea from out the back of the flat - the sky was all colored prettily, and the clouds were really interesting, so I took a good few pictures of that, along with some more shots of the University, this time without people everywhere. When I got back in, it started raining heavily, so I'm glad I went out when I did. My last roll of film is in, but I'm saving that for Monday night - Joyce's leaving party.

Another thing that's helping me at the minute is songwriting. Well, sort of. David wrote a song for me, which I've taken, changed around a bit (although not much), put guitar to it (chords and bass done - just need a nice lead solo), and stuff. I may record it today, and upload it. The problem is that the only way to sing it properly would be to have John Rzeznik's voice, and the only way to play it right would really be to play it more angrily than I like to play my guitar. I'll see about fiddling with a few knobs on the amp, and see what I can do about getting the right sound. And I need a name for it - the only one that springs to mind is in very bad taste (which is why I thought of it, I'm afraid to say...).

Something that isn't helping is finishing off my bottle of brandy tonight. Quite why I did that, I'm not sure, but it's now empty. I think I'll keep it - it's cute... Once more, as David probably noticed, and Gabby remarked, you can't really tell that I'm drunk online. Well, not always. Sometimes I type completely slurred and crap, where my fingers just lash out at every key and I can never be bothered to hit backspace. Other times, it doesn't affect my typing at all, which is neato :o)

Anyway, no more temptation to drink any more, since I'm all out now. Plus, it makes me sleepy (hence early night). So, a sober, well-adjusted James now, I think. So, I'll go back to bed now that I've gone on my little late night wander, eaten breakfast (toast), and generally finished for Saturday. G'night all...

(PS - Laura, do you appreciate the music I'm listening to? Your boyfriend doesn't ;o)

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James, your bracketing is all to cock.

And your blatent troll has not gone unnoticed :o)

Nah - I often use smileys to close brackets. It looks wrong adding a ) after a smiley.

Was that some kind of joke? I didn't think you were into 'that' music..but wow, you own a bwitched record. I love that song :)

Uh, I'm not usually a fan of such music, but I did actually buy B*Witched's first three singles... :o)

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