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And I thought I missed her *before*...
2012
unknownj
Good grief! (or, put less politely, fucking hell...)

I'm going through boxes packed over a year ago, in a whole other life entirely, and it's.. emotionally troubling. I think that's the phrase I'm after. Suddenly, with this dramatic reveal of the context that I've been suppressing for thirteen months, I realise how staggeringly incomplete the last year has been, not living with Naomi...

Finding the box that we received our duty free in in Barbados, or our iron, or my heat packs, or a dozen other things, it all just brings back the memories that have been carefully put into storage until now...

The thought of us living together by the end of the week, driven home by all our stuff, has pretty much reduced me to tears.. How easy it is, surrounded by the trappings of "home" (as defined as being where I grew up) to put aside the actual loss caused by separation.

It's a useful denial... I'm at a point now where all my mental constructs are fairly useful, and rather well crafted - it's how the control freak organises his brain, y'know? A device for maintaining sanity, if you like. It's a good thing really that I waited so long to destroy that suddenly flimsy yet strangely durable fantasy - that things were okay..

I never imagined that an iron could be so moving - I ought to make a note of that somewhere.. And now back to the boxes that used to hold my life, so that I can put it all back together by the time this week is out...

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(Deleted comment)
How about a bonfire, James? I'll bring marshmallows and hand drums...

I'm not sure that I follow :oP

You know, piling all of the stuff that reminds you of her into a pile, dousing it with a flammable liquid, and having a fire? I've done it. It's very...cleansing :)

Eh, I hope that didn't sound too harsh, though.

I'm not sure that she'd be all that keen on me doing that - it seems like a remarkably cruel thing to do immediately prior to moving into our new house together...

Perhaps we could come up with an alternative plan that doesn't involve trying to alienate my fiancée the week we buy a house....

Oh Jeez. I suppose I should've read your past journal entries before I *assumed* you two had broken up, and that you had stumbled across a box of stuff that belonged to the both of you. My apologies. :)

This thread made my week. LOL

Good to know my faux pas has given you pleasure :P

I'm sorry that this is unrelated, but I have to ask you to please post my question on ama. I'm really desperate and I feel clueless. If there is nothing else left to do I have to ask random internet folk to help me think of ideas. If I could get someone to believe me I would ask for money, but most people seem too cynical to help. It would mean a lot to me if my question can get through the moderation. Thank you.

Yes, you can see my IP address, but please don't try to figure out who I am. Or if you do... don't tell anyone.

You know, leaving a comment on my personal journal at 2:30am isn't going to be the quickest way to get your post authorised, nor is it really appropriate. If it was that desperately important, you could post it as yourself.

Stop being so freakin' mushy! It's too adorable! You're melting my cold, callous heart and that's just not on, man.

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