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Bah
2012
unknownj
Bloody DVD didn't arrive. I've had Friends Series 7 Episodes 5-8 on DVD since yesterday, but until I get episodes 1-4, I can't watch them with the others, so I'm not watching them at all. This is, needless to say, quite an annoyance... So anyway, onto the boring tripe that I will no doubt be posting all day at this rate, with nothing happening to take my mind off this stuff.....

So, Bri. I dunno what happened there, to be honest. One minute, I love him with all my heart, and the next, he moves in with his Frat boy buddies and Poof!, he's history. Oops, did I just skip a few pages? Sorry, I'll go back and explain a bit more for those of you who don't know this shit...

Another of those times when somebody comes along to Usenet. and I can't remember it. Annoying, really. I know that I was one of the first people to talk to him in AGRA, but I don't actually recall thinking anything at the time. Eventually, I got to the point where I thought about who he was, and that's a memory I can remember - Brian the Spiffy One. Heh, silly name... Anyhow, I guess we must have got to chatting and stuff, and got on well. I can't remember exactly, because while I do have my ICQ history from back then intact, I have no easy way of getting at the details in it, and wouldn't want to - there's some things that are just best left on my little archive CD.

So anyhow, things progressed, and we became good friends. Then I met Karen, and Bri really helped me through that whole thing. It was tough maintaining a distance relationship having never had a proper girlfriend before, but he kept me sane through a lot of it. He also sent me four MP3s:
  • Everclear - Fire Maple Song
  • Everclear - Summerland
  • Everclear - Blondes
  • Everclear - Heroin Girl
I really liked a couple of those (the first two), and thus started my love of Everclear, and indeed similar music. I entirely blame Bri for all the good parts of my musical taste. Anyway, time progressed, I went to Ireland and met Karen, came back, and felt like shit. Again, Bri was always there for me, and helped me through the whole thing. As things with Karen got worse, things with Bri got better. Two weeks before October break, when Karen broke up with me, he was there for me, and helped me through it.

Anyway, we get to October break, 1999, and my family go off on holiday, leaving me alone in the house. At this point, Bri has sent me the Live song Lakini's Juice, which I really like. Unfortunately, my sister accidentally went on a rampage through my MP3s and deleted about 1gb of them accidentally, including that one. So during that holiday, I went out and bought the album it's on (Secret Samadhi), and assorted other junk, including Tribes, one of Bri's favourite games. I spent the whole week just sat online in the study at home, talking to Bri, listening to his music, playing online games with him, and generally having a great time with him. He was having problems with his girlfriend at the time (who was messing him about rather with her messed up views on life), and I was trying to help him through that. He has such a great understanding of emotions and of the world that it was difficult to help, as such, but I was there for him.

It was during this time that we (and by that, I mean mostly I) explored the possibility of having feelings for another guy. I think we came to the conclusion that it was easily possible to fall in love with a guy, and that the only issue there was the sexual attraction not being there. However, this conversation coincided with me realising that, in actual fact, I had been attracted to a few (very few, but still some) guys in the past. And, as Brian had proved to me, I was capable of feeling emotional stuff towards them. Big dilemma. Troubled me for a while, that did.

In the end, I just got over my fears, and told Brian I loved him. It's not like the way I loved Karen, and love Jen, it was kinda different. Hard to explain, but I just felt so strongly connected to him and stuff. I think he slightly freaked at that, to be honest, and I don't blame him. However, he got past it quickly. Mind, we still spoke about it every now and again - it was one of the few topics he was ever evasive on. We'd joke about what would happen if one of us turned out to be the opposite gender after all - I can't even begin to imagine how that would have been.

Anyhow, he and his girlfriend Kara broke up not too much later, which was somewhat bad. I had tried my best to keep them together, talking to both of them at great length about why they should stay together, but it was to no avail. Over the next few months, I discussed every aspect of my life with him - the brief "thing" with Alex, the whole Liz incident, that stuff. Aside from the occasional "You idiot!" response, he gave good advice, good support, and helped me through it all.

Now, the thing about Bri was, he needed me. I mean, he really needed me. I like to think that I actually understood him, see. He was socially-phobic, wouldn't go out or talk to new people, and as such, could only depend on those people who he already knew. And I needed him, because he was as much a part of who I was back then as I was. Unfortunately, part of what it was about him that kept him "mine" as it were, was his lack of interaction with others and refusal to drink. Initially, neither of us drank, then I turned 18 and started, which I doubt impressed him very much.

Anyhow, he got kicked out of his Uni housing on account of being too lazy to find himself somewhere else, so he moved into the Theta Xi Nu frat house, at the University of California, Berkeley. I dunno what those people did to him, but suddenly he had a bestest buddy Seth, he was drinking with them, and being a "normal" person. He stopped needing me, and buggered off to enjoy his new life. And I stopped needing him, because he wasn't Bri any more. He was just this average guy with a few good ideas about life suddenly...

*sigh*

Anyhow, that's the story of Brian. Blah....

Onto other matters... My cellphone - I used to spend about £20 per week on it, now I've managed to only spend 80p per week. That's pretty damned impressive. I hardly use the thing any more - I might use it to call Becca every now and again, or send an SMS to a flatmate if I'm too lazy to get up and go to the dining room, but aside from that, nothing :o)

Oh, and quickly, because I feel the need to say - I have the most attractive girlfriend in the world... I've just been at her site (again), looking at the pictures, and she never ceases to take my breath away :o)

Anyhow, here's some webcam pictures of my room since my latest redesign of its layout:That's about it, I guess.... Doubtless there'll be more later :o)

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I've had that happen a couple of times ... friends that have changed entirely when they went off to uni and got in with a different crowd, or even friends in their 20's and 30's that suddenly get in with some new group and their personality changes completely.

Bah.

Wish I had some intelligent advice or something to offer you, love, but there isn't really any to be offered ... it happens, and it sucks. *HUG*

I'm not really bothered so much any more - it was a good many months ago, so...

You know you're far too old for someone your age.

Nah, I don't think so... I just have a dodgy outlook which gives people that impression :o)

You know, knowing now that Jen is your girlfriend, there is *no* way I'm going to bow to your wish and stop sending flirtatious comments to her :-)

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