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I win at life!
2012
unknownj
I have just triumphed over my second orange of the day, and so I proud I am of my victory that I thought I'd share the news..

Firstly, I'm loosely aware that this is not an 'orange' in the traditional sense. At approximately the size of a golf ball, it's evidently some sort of relative, from a much shorter side of the family. Nevertheless, its defining features are 'spherical' and 'orange', so at present I can't come up with a better name for it.

In any case, I was informed (improperly) that there was some sort of 'easy open' mechanism for this fruit. When I think 'easy open', I'm put in mind of levers, switches, or some other mechanism to facilitate that function. Let me tell you, it didn't even have a handle!

I decided that the best strategy would be to pull and tug at it, until the desired outcome was achieved. Take note - this is a strategy that can be applied to countless situations, and in this case it eventually worked, with minimal juice spillage.

The next obstacle was that, in my first orange, one of the segments was booby trapped with some sort of seed. I didn't realise until it was in my mouth, at which an "ohmygodwhatamIeating?!" thought flashed through my head. I'm reasonably confident that nobody saw my expression at this point, so no harm done.

For reasons beyond my ability to explain, I got it into my head that there was some sort of quota of one seed per orange. I'm not sure why I believed nature would be so consistent, but it lulled me into a false sense of security when eating the second orange. I identified a segment that contained a seed, dealt with it, and then merrily proceeded to eat the rest of the fruit feeling invulnerable. A further three similarly booby-trapped segments later, and I learned my lesson - fruit hates me, and thinks it's funny to trick me.

In any case, the fruit in conjunction with my low fat yogurt, cereal bars, and lack of chocolate today, means that I'm doing quite well.. I've narrowly exceeded a thousand calories thus far, with only dinner to follow (which I'm rather hoping is pasta). I guess the trick is to turn eating healthy food into a (rather contrived) fun little adventure, which I think I've managed.. :o)

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I've missed reading your detailed livejournal entries :D

WTFROFLLOLBBQ!!1

God forbid someone introducing you to the concept of lychees any time soon...

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