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Ho nonney diddle
Tomorrow's exam.... With my current knowledge, I get either 0%, 12% or 20%, depending on which past paper I attempt. It is entirely possible that I will be unable to answer any questions. If this is the case, I will write "I am a fish" 400 times, and walk out. Or cover my hand in ink, leave a hand-print, and then faint.

Other alternatives include writing Pi out to 40 decimal places for a laugh.

If you have any ideas about what I can write in my answer booklet in lieu of mathematics, do tell :o)

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Once, in an ancient history exam, I wrote a fascinating story about a war between the Spartans and the Athenians, which had the Spartans coming down the hill to sack Athens with rotten tomatoes and cabbages.

Needless to say, I failed the exam, but damn, that was a good story.

Draw step by step diagrams of the Rimmer salute!

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