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Aye-Aye!
2012
unknownj
Despite numerous times when I was hating the whole thing, I had a great time this weekend.

So, to recap... This was the Aye-Aye Virgin Tournament, which (as the name suggests) was the first ever tournament hosted by Aye-Aye, UEA's frisbee team, and the favourite team of many of the Mohawks (including me).

I won't go through all the details, nobody ever bothers with those. So here's for a vague synopsis - I'll post our tournament report later in the week if anybody cares. First off, we stayed with Gaz, who kept up the Mohawks/Aye-Aye tradition of supplying the visiting team with copious amounts of bacon - breakfasts were good. We got utterly slaughtered on the bus, and arrived after pub closing time on Friday barely able to walk - that's how good it started off. We could've got there on time, but it would have meant not having spirits to drink on the minibus, and I'd rather turn up late than sober.

After hilarious events involving Felix and his contact lenses, we finally managed to get ourselves unconscious, ready for the tournament. The morning of the Saturday was mostly just random junk - meeting up with various people off the team, watching Jez, Rob and Dave do the 8-pints-of-milk challenge from Jackass (all of them were very sick everywhere), etc. Then a few shots of Vodka before playing, to try to shake the hangover from the previous night and replace it with a pleasant haze.

Well, whatever, it didn't work. We got pretty nailed on the first day, all things considered. And I personally played the worst Ultimate of my life, I sucked. People seem to think that I'm competitive, but it's not really like that. I'm ambitious, that's the problem. I don't care whether I'm better or worse than other people - practicing with Smash & Grab pretty much ensures that I've got good experience of being by far the worst player. What I care about is my own personal performance, and trying to improve it over time.

And yeah, basically, Saturday was the worst I've been in ages - I kept dropping easy throws, I wasn't making all the right cuts, and the fact that we kept losing games was somewhat vexing. Not to worry, we all pissed off back to Gaz's at the end, and played drinking games, which were great fun.

Right, here's some rules:

1. You are not permitted to use obscenities. If Chris Moyles can't get away with it on Radio 1, nor can you
2. No indication. You're not allowed to point at anybody or anything with anything but your elbows
3. Margin of Error. If your drink is within a given distance of the table edge, you must drink it all
4. Buffalo - you must only drink with your left hand. If caught using your right, you must finish your drink
5. You must not use the word "drink" - try alternatives such as "beverage" or "consume" (for the noun and verb forms respectively)

We learned a new game - the Ooh-arh game (spelling is optional). You go around the circle like in Yee-ha (I won't explain that, it's easy), only you say Ooh-arh instead. To change direction, you use "Oink-a" (or something close) and the same hand action as in Yee-ha. If at any point somebody says "Tractor Gearbox", everybody must mime 1-2-3-4 on an imaginary gearshift and have a drink. From that point onwards, you make car noises instead of Ooh-arhs, and change direction with a screeching of brakes. In order to get back to Ooh-arhs, somebody must say "And Roland Ratzenberger is dead!" (because we must never forget that he died, even if Ayrton Senna's death seems to overshadow it). Obviously, we play the "Get off my land" rule on Ooh-arhs, and the equivalent when in racing mode is to do a Murray impression, such as:

"Would you look at that!!"
"And he's winning, winning, winning"
"Nothing can stop Schumacher from winning now.. Oh no! He's spun off and been passed!"
"He quite literally took Damon Hill's nose off there"

Accompanied by a gesture in the direction of the person who is to continue. Very simple - Ed, you should get this one :o)

Anyway, back to the story. The party was good fun, it was retro. I was kitted out in something Kyle loaned me, and it was one of the nicest outfits I've ever worn out anywhere, I was well impressed. However, I spent most of the party hanging out with Aye-Aye watching various three pint challenges...

Now, the three pint challenge. A regular disc will hold three pints of liquid, thanks to surface tension. So you fill it with beer, give two people straws, and they have to drink the three pints as fast as they can. The Aye-Aye record is something like 22 seconds, which is quite impressive. The best score at the party was about 25, which is really good in itself. Mohawks scored about 4 minutes (which doesn't come close to the Jimbo/Nicole time of 20 minutes), but it did involve Vicky and Penny spitting beer on each other, which seemed to please people.

So yes, watching three pint challenges, and then I spent the last hour of the party sitting on the floor looking after Vicky, who had passed out shortly after asking me to take care of her. So I let her lie with her head in my lap, in the middle of the club, while she had 'a little rest'. Lots of people were asking how she was, and kept coming up to her on the second day of the tournament to find out what had been up... Heh... :o)

Dancing at the party was fun. Spent the first bit of that with Lucy, then with Treble etc. Oh, but at one point I rocked out to a guitar solo, Angus-style, which got me applause and handshakes at the end. Apparently people respect that sort of idiocy :o) Back to Gaz's, and then it's Sunday. And I was well impressed with how everything went. In particular:


1. Inside-out-break-force-side-arm
I threw a beautiful, fast, inside-out side-arm right through the force some guy put on me, which went through all their players and ended up in our end-zone (though Helena then dropped it). The guy didn't even know I'd thrown it, it was nice and fast :o)

2. Mis-read catch
I was in the endzone, and Felix put a high floating disc up. The other guy failed to read it right, and it sailed over his head into my waiting arms. I followed up with a flourish of the disc to the crowd, to demonstrate how pleased I was with myself.

3. The 'I wasn't aware a disc was in play' fake-out
Some guy was marking me in the endzone while Felix was on the disc. My marker wasn't watching Felix, he had his back to him, he was just watching me. Felix put up a beautiful hammer to the back corner of the end-zone, and I just stood there. I ignored it completely. I looked around a bit. Then I stared my marker in the eye for a moment, then broke into a run. The whole time I had seen the disc making its flight towards the corner, and my marker didn't even know it had been thrown. When I ran, he couldn't keep up, and I reached the disc at the exact moment I needed to in order to catch it. It really was a perfect play :o)

And in case anybody wonders, the alternative was that as soon as Felix threw the disc, I could have run to exactly where it was going to land. And my marker would have followed me, and seen it in the air. And we'd both have jumped for it, and even though I was taller, the distraction of competing for the disc would've probably hurt my chances of getting it (though arguably not by much, I was quite a bit taller). I prefer my way - psych! :o)

So yes, I really enjoyed Sunday. And the ambition within me was happy because I managed to practice energy-free fake cuts, which kept my marker busy trying to follow me even though I wasn't moving anywhere. I bettered my playing, managed to score points, throw nice discs, and caught well. That's all I ask - we don't have to win, I just want to feel like I played at the level I know I'm capable of. I live and breathe this sport, and it's desperately annoying when I suck at it.

Anyway, overall, we came 15th out of 16 (and one team had to forfeit - that makes us last). But we won the sharking award (for Penny) and the Spirit award, which is the most important thing. That's four spirit awards out of the five tournaments I've ever attended - not bad going.

As for the future, Aye-Aye-wise, I'm looking forward to the outdoors season. We're going on the tour as a joint Mohawls/Aye-Aye team, called Hawk-Aye, which will rule. Potentially, the two best-spirited teams in UK Ultimate, joining up for weekends of outdoors frisbee and camping and fun. Plus, between us, we could put together some damned fine teams :o)

End of Part 1...

  • 1
sounds like you had a great time

  • 1
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